There is a lot of talk about the male Frame. Because it determines pretty well if a woman will have sex with you (and especially over longer times) or not.
As well as it being the core of your success, how well you will stand the test of time and fame (if you aim for that).
However, it’s mostly mentioned in regards to women and maintaining frame in a relationship. Especially if you fucked that up at some point and wonder how to get it back.
That said, it’s always just very vaguely mentioned. Some say it’s just being stoic, some say it means not caring about anything. So let’s clear this up.
The following description of the Frame is pulled from my book OWN YOUR SHIT. But due to the nature of how a blog is set up, I changed the typing to make it flow easier on a screen and added or left out some things.
How the male frame is set up
A huge part of this is based on the idea from the User “Strategos Autokrator” ( https://www.reddit.com/user/Strategos_autokrator ) from the married red pill Subreddit.
As I said before, the concept of frame is very complex and abstract, and while multiple sources have tried to put it easily, there wasn’t one until I came across his version that really made click in my head.
The Rational Male for example talks a lot about frame, but it’s never really explained on what it actually means in the real world. He even goes so far as to say once you broke your frame in your relationship once, you can never gain it back, which is exactly where I disagree.
Ever since I implemented this thought model, I learned a ton of things and added them to it.
Still, the basic idea is from the guy from Reddit, hence credit where credit is due. Check out his profile, a ton of valuable information in his posts. While they are painted towards marriage (obviously), my approach on Frame is more general.
Your Frame is based on three pillars: Physical, intellectual, emotional.
Understanding them, exploring, and furthering them will create a strong frame.
Why is maintaining frame so important?
Before we can dive into how to keep frame or how it is set up, we should clear the fog about the concept itself.
Why is it so damn important?
Let me hit you with a quote to drive this message home:
“The masculine builds a frame, in which the feminine can express herself.”
Women are emotional, expressive, and full of temperament. If this “expression” isn’t checked, it goes everywhere. Leaks on your wall, drips down onto your shoes, and ruins all of it.
That’s why we buy frames on a wall. Because the picture in it looks better in a frame.
And it’s the same with man and woman. The best women look best (literally and metaphorically) with a proper man who guides them!
Because then they can fully paint out that picture!
This can be taken literally with boundaries you set, as well as metaphorically, that she blooms in her femininity within your masculine frame.
How to build your male frame?
Let us get into the topic now. A man’s frame consists of 3+1 pillars. What’s with this 3+1?
Well, you have three basic pillars, which create a fourth one in and of itself. But that fourth isn’t a discerned one. It only works if you have all others in check first, albeit being the most important.
Sounds abstract, so let’s make it clear.
The First Pillar: The physical
This is probably the easiest, and generally the thing I teach any beginner. Hit the fucking gym!
I know this is repetitive, and it sounds a lot like “Bro mentality,” but becoming physically fit isn’t just to look good. I have noticed insane increases in overall energy, testosterone levels (which brings even more benefits), mental clarity, creativity, and well, female attention.
As the conqueror said above, the body and the mind are intertwined. They work in a symbiont. You can’t have a clear mind if you have a numbed body. That’s just how it is. And there is another important thing it does to your mind:
“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” –Socrates
There truly is something about bending reality by pure force of your body. It is something any man inherits. You absolutely need to train your body to become a machine.
A man must know how to fight. For his confidence, for his survival, and for protection of his loved ones.The conqueror
Women like muscular men. Period.
Even though society is trying to force-feed you “dad-bod mannequins” in stores and all that crap, women like muscular man.
Again, you don’t need to be The Rock levels of jacked, you just need to have some visible muscles.
Showing abs work best, they suck for this. Literally.
These are best trained when learning a martial art. Nothing trains abs better, so try this.
The consensus is on Brad Pitts Achilles from the movie Troy above to look the most sexy for women. And you see, he’s not overly muscular. He just looks very masculine with showing muscles and abs.
Not just muscles, also looks
But there is more to the physical than just muscles and fighting techniques. You also need to get a proper haircut, grooming, proper clothing, your posture is very important, etc.
Everything that plays into the physical field, and is part of your appearance is your frame.
If you walk around slouched, people see you as someone who is weak. They see your frame as weak. At least the physical part.
If you walk upright, dressed well, and jacked, people can’t help but immediately categorize your physical frame as very strong.
Let’s take this even further. Your voice and your energy. I talked about energy before, but this is also displayed in your physical.
You radiate a certain kind of energy. This is your appearance as well. The energy you give out is displayed by your body.
Your posture, how you move, if you move too much, stuff like that. If you see a man walking down the street slouched, you think he is sad, weak, or depressed. If you see a man walking down the street upright and smiling, you think he either just had sex or made a million dollars.
And you would be right.
Feel positive, look positive. I.e. a smile. Have a smile on your face while walking around.
Greet people, even if you don’t know them. That positive energy will come back. Trust me.
Fixing the physical pillar of your frame will probably already bring in more sex, more friends, and maybe a promotion. It’s the first thing to attack because it’s the most visible. You literally see it in the mirror.
The second pillar: The intellectual
This pillar of your frame isn’t as easily explained, but just as important as the physical.
Your intellectual frame is how you portray the world, and how others see you portraying the world.
For example, are you still a plugged in loser, who eats cereal for breakfast, or have you realized the lies of society, and you’re actively working against it? Do you wander through life on your high-school knowledge, or did you further educate yourself with readings from the great people of the past?
Your intellectual basis is having the know-how, the wisdom and knowledge to get what you want.
An easy example would be understanding a woman’s (or your woman’s) menstrual cycle and being aware that when she is ovulating, she wants hot Alpha cavemen sex, and if she isn’t, she wants more loving sex.
See how this knowledge can net you what you want from your girl? And where do you get such knowledge? Reading.
A man can avoid a great many mistakes by reading about the mistakes other man have made before him.The conqueror
How to develop that pillar?
Reading my book is a good start. The best way to be better intellectually is by reading. Lots and lots of reading. Non-fiction.
You can read fiction in between, sure. But you are trying to understand the world better, right? So you need to read writings about the world, humans, and the universe.
But don’t start with Nietzsche right away. That is your ego coming in again, implying you would even understand such an abstract book (or books).
Start simple. Keep reading, work your way up to more complicated books. You can even start with blogs since they’re free before you go into real books. I, personally, like reading paperback books over eBooks, but to each their own.
At some point, you should also add writing to your frame. Writing will form and deform your thoughts. It will put ideas and thoughts you were reading or experiencing into new thoughts, or better ones.
Writing is truly very important. You don’t need to write novels, but write down what you think. Your journey, what you experienced, what you learned. Do it physically! I highly recommend a classic notebook like this over Google Docs.
The intellectual pillar will also give you more confidence because you understand the world. And just understanding a woman’s cycle makes you more confident with them, because you know what you’re up to.
Knowing what shit-tests are, that kind of stuff. Read up on how to interact with people, how to read body language.
Humanity knows all that, it’ll make you very fucking strong.
The third pillar: The emotional
This might be the toughest pillar to work on. Your emotions can be very dangerous if you don’t understand them, can’t control them, but most importantly if you suppress them.
See, a lot of weak men suppress their emotions, because they think it is bad if a man is angry or similar bullshit. The result of that is, that at some point, the resentment built up so much that they literally explode in the most faggot victim puke you’ll ever see.
Why do I know that? Been there, done that.
If you get emotional because your wife shit-tests you, that’s a fucking weak frame. If you get emotional, trying to be constantly happy and actually putting on an act is weak as well. Everyone knows you can’t be happy all the time. It must be fake.
Using your emotions as guilt-trip is even worse because that’s not how men act.
For example, a colleague of mine said when his daughter does something wrong, he tells her, “Daddy is sad now that you did that.”
You should already know what this does? It trains his daughter that she has emotional control over her dad.
And especially women feed off of attention and emotions, so whenever she wants her way, she is just gonna do some shit he doesn’t want, so he’s sad and gives her attention that way. This girl is gonna be a bitch when she grows up. Trust me.
How a man displays his aggression is shown if people fear him or respect him.The conqueror
If you control your emotions too much and you’re never angry or disappointed, then nobody needs to fear anything from you.
You’re not an issue.
People can do whatever they like, and you’re just fine with it. You’re neutered. This happens a lot with blue pilled husbands who never have sex.
They let themselves talk into not being angry at their wives for this and that, and as a result, their wives have no emotions to fear. Can do whatever they want.
This might be a bit confusing. Of course, human emotions are very complex, very irritating, spontaneous, and if you mix in another person (your wife), or more people (wife and kids), shit gets infinitely complicated.
Another example to make it clearer: Your wife shit-tests you, and you feel judged and insecure. But instead of accepting these emotions, because you think you’re so fucking Alpha, you get angry.
Most guys end up turning everything into Anger because “that’s how Alphas react.”
Not the case. You shouldn’t tell that to your wife. That you feel insecure because she judged you. That’s weak. But you need to be aware of what you’re feeling right now.
It’s much better to accept you being judged for your actions and remind yourself of the assertive rule #1 from “When I say No, I feel guilty” (seriously, get this book), which is, “I am the judge of my actions.”
Nobody’s judgment of your actions matters at all.
You have the right to be your own judge. Your wife doesn’t like you going out to play poker with your friends? Fine. That’s her problem.
You’re going to do it anyway. You felt judged because you WERE being judged, but it is fine. No need to get angry, right?
One of man’s toughest fights is how to parse and control his own emotions properly.The conqueror
This is very, very, very tough work. Because you have been neglecting this for so long. Shit, I still work on that every day.
The book is a good start because you need to own your emotional shit. From now on, you will parse your emotions properly. Or rather, you start with learning how to.
First by watching. Then by understanding, and then by trying to direct them.
There is no real guidance on how to do that, other than experimentation. Each and every person reacts differently to certain situations. It’s fine. Don’t try to be someone you’re not (except for a weakling whining about shit-tests, alright?).
Accept your emotions as they are first. And THEN you can think of changing them, or rather, not acting upon some of them.
The three plus one pillar: The Vision
These three pillars will ultimately form the top of your Tripod, The Vision.
Along the way of implementing the pillars, you will notice what you want out of life, and where it should be going. This is your vision, and it’s another part of your frame.
A man with a strong frame has a clear vision for his life.
This doesn’t just come down to the three pillars, this is a general, more meta place of where you want to go.
What do you want to achieve in ten years? You might not know yet, other than “be rich” which is useless. It’s too abstract. Along the way, you will build your vision of your life, and the goal will be more clear. Broken into smaller pieces, more refined, defined, and set in stone.
The great paradox of man is that he flourishes more in following goals than in achieving them.the conqueror
At this point, you want to be a successful writer (which is part of being rich for example), and you want a loving, hot, wife (which makes you emotionally rich), and great kids that listen, etc, etc.
This is the vision for your life.
But this vision can only be achieved if the three pillars of your frame are in place.
- You will need to have the physical pillar in place to have the energy and health to pursue these things.
- You will need to have the intellectual in place to have the knowledge and wisdom to be clear on how to set things up.
- You will need to have the emotional in place, so you will persist on your actions, and don’t give up on the first issue.
That said, even if you know what your vision is at some point, it might still change along the way. You get new knowledge, new things happen in life that change your vision a little bit, or all together. You never know.
But it doesn’t matter. You will be fine with adjusting because your three pillars are in place.
This will also give you great clearance about your resources and the people around you.
When you have your vision in your mind, you will notice that some things aren’t helping. Even hindering you, then they need to go.
It’s the same with people. You will quickly realize who is adding to your vision, and your plans in life, and who isn’t. And then you can (and need to!) act on it, and ditch these people, or reduce the contact heavily.
Remember that this is your life. And your vision. Anyone who doesn’t add to it is actively hurting your happiness and your life. Hence why you need to be ruthless in dropping them.
How to keep frame in a relationship?
Maintaining frame in a relationship isn’t easy, but also very easy.
You just need to be aware of your pillars all the time. Or remind yourself.
Internalizing it so it flows out of you without effort takes time. More on that will be in the book.
Once you have found your vision and are following it ruthlessly, maintaining frame shouldn’t be an issue to you at all. Because everything in your life revolves around that vision, and people who are not contributing are kicked out.
How to re-gain frame in a relationship?
When you enter a relationship, your woman has a fantasy of you. She pictures you as a sort of guy. And that might probably be very wrong. Or you lose that guy over the course of time.
Which is what happens to most guys, and what happened to me.
Due to social conditioning, you thought it would be right to do everything she wants. Which it isn’t.
For multiple reasons I don’t want to get too deep into it, this post has more info about it. But the way to re-gain your frame in your relationship is the same as keeping it.
Keep focusing on your pillars, and especially the vision pillar.
I’ve lost frame heavily in my marriage. Once I then started hitting the gym, leading myself, reading tons of knowledge about women and men, and incorporating my mission and vision for my life, soon my wife came around.
The good thing is that women live in the now. If you’ve been a weak beta loser for years, but you fix yourself and get yourself together for months, she will believe your change.
Yes, months. It doesn’t change quick, but it is possible. There is this math which says, for each years you’ve been a weak loser, it takes about a month of being a man to get her back.
So you’re married for 7 years, and since marriage you lived under “Happy wife, happy life” it’ll take about 7 months of being masculine to get her back on her knees.
This is a rough estimate, and since every marriage is different, this might differ. Just don’t expect shit too soon.
The mindset for re-gaining frame
The important part about this is that you don’t care about it.
See, your frame is YOUR thing. This is about you. If your woman comes back into your frame doesn’t matter, because you’re becoming such a great man, not only will you love yourself, but if your wife doesn’t chime in, tons of other women will.
This is the basic mindset I’ve been teaching you in over 3,000 words here.
Your life is about you. These pillars are about you.
The sooner you start to incorporate yourself more into your life, the sooner your woman will join YOU.
Makes sense, doesn’t it?
Build your frame, and see life express itself in it.
Remember, this was more or less directly copied out of the book because I think this is important and needs to be free. Get even more useful info like that in the book OWN YOUR SHIT or click below.