Good morning friends, it’s Alexander and today I’m diving into a topic that might stir some emotions. You’ve probably seen the growing trend of “tradwives” on social media, especially on platforms like Instagram. The whole idea of women embracing traditional roles — cooking, cleaning, and catering to their husbands — has been making the rounds for years, but recently, with the rise of certain political movements, this image has gained even more traction. Today, though, I want to ask: could some of these so-called “tradwives” be hiding something deeper — narcissism?
Now, before we get into the weeds of this topic, let’s look at a post that got me thinking about it. You might want to sit down for this, because what I’m about to show you could trigger a few reactions.
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The post in question was shared by Andrea D. Huberwoman, PhD, who posted a picture of a woman dressed in luxurious lingerie while feeding chickens, stating, “When I say I want to be a tradwife, this is what I mean.” First off, let’s be honest: this is the type of male sexual fantasy that has little to do with reality. No woman in the world is actually living this “tradwife” fantasy as it’s presented on social media. It’s a curated, filtered version that appeals to certain ideals.
But here’s where things get interesting. The post itself is a form of validation, something that many people seek on social media. We all know the drill: we post a picture, we get likes, and for a moment, we feel validated. But here’s the thing: this type of behavior often masks deeper issues, especially narcissistic tendencies. And I know this because I’ve been there. I’ve spent years in a relationship being the narcissist, and I can spot the patterns from a mile away.
Now, I’m not saying that all women who identify as tradwives are narcissists. Far from it. Some genuinely embrace traditional roles because they believe in the values those roles represent. However, when I see posts where women claim to have given up all their personal rights, completely submitting to their husbands, bragging about it online for validation, that raises some red flags. This is where narcissism might be at play.
What is Narcissism?
Before we jump to conclusions, let’s clarify what narcissism really is. It’s not just about thinking you’re amazing or superior — narcissists are often some of the most hurt people in the world. They use grandiosity and external validation to mask deep emotional wounds and lack of self-esteem. This isn’t always obvious on the surface, especially when you’re talking about covert narcissism. So, when I see a post from someone who’s clearly seeking validation from strangers, I wonder: what’s behind it?
Take this “tradwife” post. The woman in the picture isn’t just showing her life; she’s fishing for praise. And this is a classic narcissistic behavior. She’s presenting herself as the perfect traditional wife, hoping that others will admire her for it and, in turn, feel better about herself. But the problem is that narcissists never feel truly validated. No amount of external praise fills the emptiness inside them.
The Submissive Woman and Narcissism
Let’s talk about submission for a moment. I’m all for women who choose to be submissive in their marriages. But when you see someone who has surrendered everything — all their rights — to their husband in a way that seems almost extreme, that can be a sign that something deeper is at play. A true healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and equality, with both partners supporting one another. Submission, if chosen, should come from a place of love and not out of a desperate need for external validation or as a way to cover up unresolved childhood wounds.
It’s important to recognize that some women might genuinely enjoy traditional roles in their marriage, and that’s perfectly fine. But if a woman is posting images online or sharing stories of complete submission, especially in a way that feels over the top, it might be worth considering if they’re also trying to feed their narcissistic needs.
What’s the Risk for Men?
So, let’s flip the coin for a second. Men, if you’re dating or married to a woman who fits this mold — constantly posting overly curated pictures and seeking external praise — ask yourself: Why is she doing this? If your wife shares her submission with the world through social media, especially if she’s seeking likes or comments, that’s a problem. Because no matter how much admiration you give her, it will never be enough to fill that internal void. A narcissist’s thirst for validation is endless. You can give them all the attention in the world, but it will never satisfy them.
A Personal Reflection on Narcissism
I’m not speaking from a place of judgment here. I’ve been on both sides of this. I’ve been the one seeking validation, the one feeding the narcissistic tendencies. And I know how exhausting it can be. The truth is, narcissists rarely ever see the problem within themselves. They can’t accept that they’re the ones causing the damage. It took me a long time to learn that lesson, and it wasn’t easy.
If you’re a man, and you’re dating or married to someone who has narcissistic traits, just know that it’s not an easy road. It requires patience, discernment, and an understanding that true healing doesn’t come from external sources — it comes from within.
Conclusion: Healthy Relationships and Discernment
So what can we take away from all of this? First, not every woman who wants to be a tradwife is a narcissist, but we should all exercise discernment. Examine your motivations and ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing. Are you embracing this lifestyle because it genuinely fulfills you, or is there something deeper at play?
And for the men, be cautious of comparisons. Social media is a highlight reel, not real life. What looks like a perfect tradwife on Instagram might be hiding deeper emotional struggles. Always keep God’s wisdom in mind: we are all created equal in His image. A healthy relationship isn’t about proving how great you are to the other person. It’s about supporting each other and growing together.
As always, I encourage everyone — whether you’re dating or married — to be aware of narcissistic traits, both in yourself and in your partner. We all have room to grow, and it starts with recognizing and addressing the root causes of our behaviors.
