How to escape the married friendzone

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These days, being married doesn’t give you access to your wives body like it used to do. And especially with all the indoctrination women receive these days about their sexuality, the patriarchy, etc. many men end up with no sex in their marriage and thus almost being like friends at home.

So here’s how to escape the married friendzone. Because much like the single friendzone, you can escape this one also and rekindle the marriage fully.

But before we get there, let’s make a few things clear.

Be warned, this will hurt.

Disclaimer: This post is a classic on the MarriedRedPill Subreddit. The ones I deem the most valuable I moved over to my blog (and added my own thoughts, it’s not a blatant copy) because knowing Reddit, they’ll likely ban this subreddit at some point. The old TRP is already “quarantined.” Only a matter of time. Now let’s get to the meat.

Why you are in the married friendzone, a harsh look at reality

  • Father and provider doesn’t get you any points. When you say this, you’re saying the only value to bring to the table is… raising your own offspring and bringing home a paycheck. Damn, som. Nobody else has ever achieved that!
    You have a job and you look after your kids? Shit. I don’t know why your wife isn’t giving you sloppy blowjobs every day already.
    Fun aside, that gets you zero points. It’s like if your wife would be so proud of having a vagina because it makes sex possible. Wow, no other woman can do this… (fair enough, some women actually think this is all they need to bring to a marriage but that’s a different point).

    You’re pissed because you assumed your commitment to monogamy and marriage also entitles you to a robust and kinky sex life and now you see the cold harsh reality. If your weeks mainly consist of work, parenting, Netflix in the evening, and crying about how work sucks, then, well, start there.
    You’re boring, man.

    You probably weren’t boring when you met your wife. Ignore the novelty of a new partner. You probably had hobbies, a zest for life, more friends to hang out with than the ever-same married couple you now check in in the same restaurant each week.
    Concerts, hiking trips, questioning REALITY and SOCIETY.

    You were an interesting man and now you’re not. You let the typical commitments of your “career” (if you even try to advance that), mortgage and taking care of the house and children eat away and your powerful masculinity.
    And all you are now is a grumpy, almost bitter men who feels entitled to sex just because he put a ring on a woman.
  • “Yeah, man, but what about her? She dresses like shit at home, puts zero effort into our sex-life, she’s not fun and cute anymore?”
    Why do you have to put in all the effort? You don’t. Not for her.

    Look, don’t you hate the version of yourself you have become? You might not have realised this because you keep numbing your own thoughts and feelings with porn, video games, alcohol, or just not thinking about where you are in your life. But you don’t become a better man for her. Sure, you can use it as a driving force to get your dick wet. If that works for you, fine. But keep in mind that you want to become a great man for YOUR OWN wellbeing.

    Because the funny thing is, and women don’t realise this consciously, but if you step up your game and become a great man, SHE also has to do that. This is called passive dread. Active dread would be “Suck my dick or divorce.” Which works, but makes her hateful and you don’t want that. Passive dread is becoming such a great man that she thinks, “Oh damn look at him getting his shit together. Also all these other women are interested in him, I rather put in some effort to keep him!”
    Which means, better dress-up, sex, etc.

    You might think this is manipulation, but it isn’t. Because she can just decide to NOT do shit and you will have to divorce her anyway. Some women just DO NOT respond to this. Most do. The point is, you’re not controlling her at all. You control yourself. You’re outcome independent. Your goal is yourself. And in the end, either she will be sucking your dick, or another woman. Either way, you get what you want.
  • Also, so far you blamed the shit out of her for not doing what you want, not realising you cannot control other people. You can only control yourself. You brought yourself into this married friendzone. Yes, you didn’t know better. Not your fault. But 100% your responsibility to fix it. Nobody else will do it for you.

    So stop putting yourself in the victim position and re-become the great man you once were. With more knowledge, wisdom, and power. Definitely try out Subliminal Messaging to get through the blockages in your mind. It’s just listening to a MP3 File, but it will FULLY reshape your beliefs about yourself (and women). Seriously, been doing this for years.

How to escape the married friendzone

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  • Become the man you were when you were single and desirable. It’s not going to be EXACTLY the same man, because you have responsibilities. All good. But the first mental image you have is, DIVORCE YOUR WIFE. In your mind.
    Act like you are single (without cheating of course (unless you want that)) and develop the life you would have if you were single.

    Stop with the shitty shows in the evening. Or at least make one day a week where you two don’t nod off on the couch after 30 minutes of that shitty show. Take an evening for yourself. Read, build, or watch your own show in another room YOU want to watch, but she never does.

    Let her watch hers by herself. That’s a win for both of you. (Caveat: If your wife has codependency issues, which many have these days in this fucked up society of weak fathers, then this will bring some shit. Remember your frame. THIS is your new frame. That you spend time alone. Use the broken record and Fogging to get through this fight.)
  • Bring back an old hobby or start a new one (here is a list of masculine hobbies). Spend time away from your wife. Only for yourself. Like you would do as a single, great man. Obviously make it happen within the boundaries of your kids. But as mentioned in the hobby post, you can also use your kids within that.
  • Meet with your buddies. Open a fucking WhatsApp group. Only men. All your buddies. Tell em they need to consume less feminine energy, so let’s meet biweekly in your favourite bar and have whiskey and cigars. Just men. Bouncing back and forth the masculine energy, not trying to impress, hit-on, or even lay women. Just the bros.
  • Your wife might even perceive some distance and will become anxious or annoying because of it. The reason is, she might feel that she is cut out from the Play and Fun. You’re starting to bring fun back into your life, but you exclude her. This is a comfort test. She wants to feel the comfort of still being in tune with you.

    And because you have so much resentment in you, when she feels left out you be like HOW BOUT THEM APPLES BITCH… because you can finally get back at her for not sucking your dick so many years/months/whatever. But what does that solve?

    Instead, you could invite her to meet you 9pm this Friday at <insert nearest cool hotel bar here>. Tell her to bring the kids to the inlaws and you’ll meet her there. Tell her if she shows up in her favourite cocktail dress and orders a good scotch whiskey for you, you’ll Play with her. (Hit the gym right after work and pump your muscles, put on a suit to look extra sexy, why not dress up and FEEL like a powerful man?)

    Then you’ll have a great evening. Turn off your phone. Give her ALL your presence, and then take her for a dance or whatever. In the end, you both go into the hotel room or take an Uber home and you’ll have mind-blowing sex. Because it’s an experience for her. She feels valued and with a great man. There is the Play that involves her.
  • Because what is sex if not Play, right? Your wife is tired of the scheduled, entitled, beta behaviour sex that became a fucking chore for her. A script she has to play. Otherwise you start to become whiny about the sex you’re owed because of your paycheck. If I frame it like that, her not being interested in sex doesn’t seem so strange, right?
  • The next day, after that great night. Remember what you did and don’t fall back into beta behaviour and be all over her because she spread her legs. YOU’RE STILL A GREAT MAN. So go back to focusing on yourself. Have breakfast with her. Give her the feeling it wasn’t all just for sex. After all, you love her, right? So enjoy her company, but don’t make it dependent. You got shit to do, places to be.
    And if you don’t, that’s what you need to work on first.

This is phrased as a simple set of steps, but there were several assumptions here. If you don’t have the financial or logistical means to afford some expensive drinks or arrange babysitting, then no wonder your wife isn’t fucking you. You life isn’t just boring, it’s boring and stressful. 

It’s very easy to turn Money into Improvement and Play. You get the latter and you don’t need to whine about how your paycheck makes you entitled to anything, because you’re spending it on what you want. You’re single in your mind, remember?

So if money is an issue, then you need to tackle that first. Here are a bunch of resources:

All this shit on Facebook, “marrying your best friend,” blah blah blah, is only fucking annoying if you take it hyperliterally.

Because any photo you see always has that couple in a tropical waterfall, or salsa dancing, or enjoying a picnic. And that’s all pretty contrived, but all those things are Play.

I did Salsa Dancing with my wife before we had our son. Trust me, she was fucking horny every time after it. One of the best sexual moments we had.

There’s probably some early date with your wife, back when she was your girlfriend, where you went to go see a movie, but it was sold out, so you had three hours to kill, and you decided to drive to another town that had a Dunkin Donuts because you had a craving for their coffee. And then your wife had to take a leak every 20 minutes during the movie so she never actually knew how The Departed ended, which is why she bought you the DVD for your birthday and a Dunkin Donuts gift card, which you thought was funny and sweet.

Then you watched the movie that weekend… and had sex. Probably just a coincidence though, that she enjoyed having sex when you guys were having a lot more fun and sharing a lot more enjoyment in your lives. She must have been ovulating, or was all hot and bothered because of her Martin Sheen fetish. That was probably it.

Seriously though. All those annoying Facebook posts, it’s not about waterfalls and picnics man. It’s about Play, in whatever way you want. She used to like playing with you. Can’t imagine it’s that hard for her to like playing with you again.

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