An old question, isn’t it?
But it bears repeating (and the answer to it, I guess).
How to have your needs met without being an ass?
How to be positive and a good man but still make sure you get what you need?
Before we dive deep into what you should do, we first need to work on your mindset.
Because if you are anything like I am (or was) you have some stigmas to battle with.
You want one of the below:
- Proper, passionate, loving sex
- Blowjobs, anal sex, lingerie
- You want her to ride you
- Want her to put on costumes, roleplay
- Want her to follow your lead
- Want her to NOT be a blind following dumb girl, but make her own decisions
Or all of them 😉
But reading through these, you probably have second guess.
- Do women even like this? Does she force herself to do it for me?
- Will she think badly of me if I want this?
- Am I trying to turn her into something she’s not?
The last one is especially key for me. I never wanted her to be something she is not within herself.
Until I realized the lies I am telling myself there.
I told myself this story in my mind that women don’t like sex as much, that she just isn’t this kind of woman, that NO woman would ever enjoy anal sex or blowjobs.
You keep going with your own stories.
I realized ONE deep fact: NONE of it matters.
It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of my fetishes, including her.
It doesn’t matter if it’s not a societal norm.
It doesn’t even matter if it’s something that doesn’t come natural to her.
THIS IS NOT FOR ME TO DECIDE.
YOU DO NOT JUDGE.
It is not for me to judge if women like these things. If she likes it.
It is not for me to judge what society thinks of my kinks.
It is not MY DECISION IF SHE BECOMES SOMEONE ELSE IN THE PROCESS.
Maybe she doesn’t like her current sexually restrained being? And she WANTS to open up? Just doesn’t know how?
Ever thought of that?
Maybe she LIKES to try kinky stuff like anal?
Maybe she LIKES to give you BJs, because she enjoys pleasing her loved one?
Ever thought of these things?
Realize that ALL of the things mentioned above are stories you tell yourself in your mind. But you have NO IDEA if they are actually true?
Don’t ask her. Or you can, but remember actions and words are not the same for women.
Did she look like she liked sucking dick in the past?
If you tried anal, was she all hesitant about it or didn’t even make a remark? Just made it happen?
Which brings me to the title of this post.
How to have your needs met?
YOU STOP BEING IN HER HEAD AND JUST STATE THEM.
JUST. EFFIN. STATE. THEM.
Say what you want.
What you need.
Make it positive.
Don’t say “You never suck dick.”
Say, “I would love you to suck my dick more often.” Or even better, just push her on her knees next time with a smirk on your face.
No words needed.
She might even think you DON’T like these things because you never mentioned it????
Remember, the mind is a master at rationalization.
So she might rationalize you don’t like sloppy BJs because you never go after them…
Glory is virtually in front of you.
But you don’t take it.
If you never voice your needs and wants, how do you expect ANYONE to fulfill them?
The man who gets what he wants CLEARLY states what he wants.
He doesn’t care what anyone thinks of it.
THIS IS HIM.
THIS IS YOU.
Accept it. Voice it. Receive it.
Here’s how I can help you: