This post is about some personal mistakes I made when I swallowed the redpill and tried to be Alpha while being in a marriage.
I don’t consider myself purple pilled or anything, but I do think TRP doesn’t fully work if you’re married. The red pill was mostly designed for men trying to get women to put out. Tell some truths about the ladies.
Rarely does a guy spin plates until he’s 80. Forget that. Eventually, you will have a wife. Kings and conquerors always had wives.
So here are some of my red pill lessons when I was unplugging in marriage.
Lesson 1: Acting too fast
When you swallow the redpill and you successfully manage to skip the Abyss and keep the anger phase short (I didn’t, I’ll get to that in a sec), you will quickly realize (or listen to me) that you can’t be the full-blown redpill alpha all of a sudden in your marriage.
Your wife knows who you are.
She married you. You’ve been the beta provider for years. If you suddenly pull Alpha methods, that’ll look like a tantrum or personality disorder.
Just turn it around for a second. Imagine your wife has been pretty masculine since forever. Sweatshirt, pants, ponytail. No lipstick, nothing.
But all of sudden, she comes in with high-heels, a skimpy dress, Louis Vuitton bag, and victoria secret lingerie blitzin’ under her dress.
You’d think it’s an act, right? If anything you would deeply question what’s going on there. And you wouldn’t really buy it. Why would she suddenly be so feminine? Out of nowhere? That’s bullshit!
Well, she thinks the same if you suddenly play dread games and want to facefuck her.
The unplugging anger phase
I know you want to do it. You want to be a real man.
Once you learned the harsh truths, it’s hard to stick with the beta.
You need to kill him.
This weak loser. I was in your shoes. Dude, was I an asshole all of a sudden. Out of nowhere, I was pulling shit which turned into huge fights. And then I didn’t give a damn.
Which I truly didn’t back then, but solely because I was blinded by anger. I was suddenly acting Alpha, which she obviously didn’t buy. Because it was an act.
A man who strives to become a better version of himself needs to internalize the new man fully. Otherwise it will seem like an act.The conqueror
This is an important phase, but also very dangerous. You’re literally playing with fire there. You can’t just switch the Alpha light on like that. You should strive to become a better man and develop Alpha traits, yes. But gradually. Over time.
Your girl will love it. But it needs to be real. Not just a mask you put on.
However, the best way to become that is by acting it out until you are that guy. I know this sounds like I am contradicting myself.
You act alpha, but expect to be taken alpha immediately.
That’s the difference. Realize it will take time until she buys it.
Lesson 2: Frame takes time
The frame. Your frame is always the basis.
Whatever the issue is, it always spins back to your frame. You had a weak frame all your marriage, and you probably fully operate in her frame. And if you try to break off of that, you literally take away power.
People always defend their power heavily.
The ambiguity is that your woman actually doesn’t want you to be in her frame. She may know it consciously or not, but she likes to be submissive. But before she can do that, she needs to know that your frame is real.
A man’s frame only works if it is real. To see if it is real, the feminine will test it.THe conqueror
Imagine you’re still the weak loser who gets nothing done financially. Spending all your money. One day you come in and say you’re now Chronicles of Nate, and you have your shit fixed.
Immediately, your wife leaves all the finances up to you. Then what happens? You spend all the money on a new truck, and your kid doesn’t have something to eat.
This applies to everything else. Even sex. That’s why she first needs to know what your frame really is made off before she can express herself in that picture.
Red pill lessons on Game frame
Game is the method on how to get your woman to do what you want. Basically. For this, you need a proper frame. And this even works in marriage, being fully redpilled or not.
But again, you first need to establish some mastery before you can pull the “Amused mastery”, otherwise you look like a fool laughing about something you don’t even understand.
Slowly ease into these things.
I know you want her to be submissive right away, because you learned the truth, and you know she wants it as well. But forcing it doesn’t work. Be patient.
Lesson 3: Old-school Alpha’s don’t stay married
See, back in the day, a true Alpha male had everything a woman needed. He provided the sex, he hunted food, and he had shelter because every person had that.
But shelter looks very different these days. And a woman’s needs did multiply in this consumer society.
A man must adapt to his surroundings. He must be aware of where he is in life. Timely as well as geographically.THe conqueror
Buying a house, a car, new clothes all the time, requires you to either be a successful businessman (which not every person can be) which would be Alpha or to be a drone in a company and bring home the money (beta trait).
You provide for her. It brings her comfort. Which is a big need for a woman, especially if she has kids. If you’re in a new LTR and you lose your job, it’s not that big of a deal as if you have a house, 3 kids, and the wife, whose mouths need to be fed.
Always a matter of perspective.
But for a true Alpha, he wouldn’t care about losing his job. Abundance mindset and all that, he finds other stuff to do.
Maybe even another woman if this one doesn’t play right. That kills all the comfort for her. Even if she might have the vagina tingles because of your Alphaness, she could never settle with you.
This worked back in the day because all these things weren’t so bad. If your “house” is a bit of wood and some plants, and it burned down, you built a new one by chopping down a tree. You can’t do that these days.
If you fuck up your provider traits in your marriage, you can be as Alpha as you want, it doesn’t help.
She might be utterly drawn to you, but she can never really relax with you, and settle down. Maybe you don’t want that, fine. But you’re on a married sex blog, aren’t you?
Lesson 4: The balanced Alpha?
That’s why I think a fully redpilled marriage doesn’t exist.
A true Alpha male can never be married to ONE woman. And if you spin plates in your marriage, you end up being the provider (beta) for the mother of your kids, while you fuck (Alpha) other women.
Which is what Kings did back in the day, so it’s not exactly shabby.
Reality is a bit different, though. Obviously, being full alpha is just a mindset or a dream you keep playing in your head.
Nobody forces you to be married. If you’re like “fuck all this” you can always get divorced?
But if you want to stay in a marriage, your sex-life is shit, and you want to increase that, you need to unplug from societies’ bullshit, and realize, that it will take time until your wife will pick up on your changes.
With a new woman you could start with a proper frame right away.
That’s why the married red pill is the red pill on hard mode.
Slow is the play
Notice the truths about women. Realize her behavior in certain situations. Try to rock the boat, but don’t be an ass. Just say what you mean.
If you were truly beta all your marriage, this alone will be new for her. Change things slowly. Become a better man. Not for her. For yourself.
A true man doesn’t blame others for his former self. The only one to blame is himself.The conqueror
Change multiple bad behaviors about yourself into better ones. Fix your mood, your emotional backlashes. Don’t make the mistake I did: Don’t blame her for your former self.
I blamed her for not wanting sex when in reality, it was my weakness that caused it. Don’t hate yourself! Address the anger and hatred towards your former self.
Hate society if you wish, for raising you that way, but you need to overcome the hate.
Otherwise, the resentment will make everything worse.
Once you overcome that, you can better yourself as a person. Become an integrated man. A conqueror.
And suddenly, everything else will become better as well. Women can’t resist a strong man. If you gradually changed, and she realized it is real and she can succumb to your frame, your girl will start to bloom in front of you. In every way possible.
But best of all. That is irrelevant.
Because you are finally in tune with yourself.
You conquered yourself.
And that is the only person that truly counts.
Did you make the same mistakes I did? Went too quickly? Put on the Alpha mask out of nowhere? Share your stories in the comments.
Conquer yourself with a plan
The best way to become a better man is by fighting yourself. Do the 90-day self-project and fight your urges, bad habits and mistakes for 90 days. It will make you realize how strong you really are.