The SELFCONQUERING Trifecta 3/3 – How to Be a Good Man


Part III.

How to be a Good Man?

(Featured Image by the great Atonik Art (check out his IG!)

And we talked about you being BRUTALLY honest with yourself, everyone else, but especially your girl and all the benefits you gain from that.

The next logical step was SHADOW WORK. Integrating (not suppressing) your dark side (which also has light things, right?). Understanding yourself, releasing trauma, etc.

In turn, you will become a better man.

And now, the last part of the equation. Of SELFCONQUERING, of becoming a Good Man is: Positive Leadership.

Let me tell you a story…

Recently I was on the subliminalclub forums, and there was a thread with the soothing title:

“wife wants to be hornier”

He has 4 children, just recently got twins with his wife, and they’re barely sleeping each night, she has kids on her tits all the time, so it’s all full of stress.

You get the picture.

BUT, she actually told him she wants to be hornier for him, but right now she is not feeling it.

So he wanted to know about a subliminal messaging program that unleashes her crave for dig.

All good and well.

They have an issue as a couple, they want to work on it.

The funny part is this, a bunch of guys came along and said:

“You need to hit the gym, bro. Once you’re jacked she will be horny for you.”


I laughed out loud, reading this.

And this is

a) a showcase of how stupid the Red Pill can make you

b) a showcase of BAD LEADERSHIP

Because here is the reality:

She doesn’t actually want more sex.

What she wants is to have a leading, good man, by her side, where she KNOWS she can get through a rough patch with.

Her method of keeping him is via sex (and rest assured, for many women, this is the only way they know how to keep a man) but she cannot give that to him right now. Obviously.

So she is AFRAID of losing him if the dry spell keeps proceeding.

Thus she is willing to take on measures, even though she has enough on her plate already, just to keep him.

What a hero.

​Mindless Red Pill Idiots

It’s also kind of a new level of dumb to tell this guy to hit the gym, when he already has ZERO time in a day. How would you add another 2-3 hours of workout into that schedule?

Or even have the bodily capacity to work out hard on 4 hours of sleep a night?

But these red pilled gurus probably just read the title “wife wants to be hornier” didn’t read his message at all and just were like “LIFT, BRO.”


And I laugh because I’ve been there.

I asked the good ol’ Pat Stedman once how do you keep up the sex life when your child is waking up your wife 9 times a night, and ONLY wants to have mommy (actually happened to a friend of mine for YEARS) and she is fully exhausted all night?

It didn’t occur to me that this is not a scenario to demand sex or “make it work” somehow.

This is where everyone, but ESPECIALLY your woman, needs POSITIVE LEADERSHIP.

But how?

How to LEAD like a Good Man?

It’s honestly very simple, but not easy.

But since you already did the Shadow Work and you are being brutally honest, you can now apply this properly.

In the case above, you SEE and UNDERSTAND what your woman ACTUALLY wants. You do this by LISTENING.

If you listen to what she says with your own resentful emotions of not getting your dick wet, all you do is hearing “more sex, how?”

If you TRULY listen and understand her situation, look at what she has to deal with all day, WITHOUT your own emotions involved, you are hearing “how can I be sure you stay with me?”

And then the solution is simple.

You tell her “Don’t worry, honey. I know sex is not happening right now, and of course, I miss it, too. But we have a responsibility now. We need to take care of the kids. Don’t worry about sex, I’ll be here to support you, we’ll get through this as a team.”

You’ll probably get a wet dig that night if you say that.

(but, this is obviously not the goal, because this would be a covert contract!)

So positive Leadership, good leadership, being a GREAT man, comes down to understanding the people that look up to you. That ask you for guidance and leadership. Reassuring them on the path you took.

Helping them to see the good in bad situations.

And pulling yourself back when necessary.

You can tell, how, for this you first need to have solved your traumas so you don’t use Sex, power, dominance, for external validation? How you need to be brutally honest with yourself and what you truly want (that the woman you love is happy)??

But once you covered the first two steps of the Trifecta, the third one becomes somewhat natural.

Still, it is important to have this on your conscious mind.

And sometimes we miss the obvious solution.

To be positive. (free link!)

To lead.

Because we’re too much in our own head.

And I had many guys on the brink of divorce, turning it all around because I just showed them what they are missing.

Since they were too emotionally involved.


Because they worked with me. A man who has been there. Who helped many others already.

And maximized themselves, their business, their LIFE in the process.

Because the finally have a home full of love, peace, admiration, respect, and, yes, a wet dig.

 >>> Click here to achieve the same. 

I’ll see you around, Alexander

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About Alexander Graves

About Alexander Graves

Hey there! I'm Alexander Graves and I teach men how to live a life of happiness, abundance, and joy, without using weird techniques. Just by being your authentic self.