Never ask a woman why she doesn’t want sex, she doesn’t know.
You see, we’ve been told for decades now that the basis of any great relationship is communication. “You need to communicate with your wife.”
But this is bullshit. I am not saying you should never talk to her, but some forms of communication are pointless, to be precise, they hurt you. Let me explain.
Why communicate with your wife?
First of all, we need to paint the environment. Why would this topic even come up? Well, usually it is down to sex. Or the lack thereof, rather.
As a married man, most of us end up at a sexless time eventually. Even if it is just because your wife is currently pregnant and feeling sick all day.
And whenever sex doesn’t work out in the marriage, men go searching online, and sort of end up on the deadbedrooms subreddit which needs to be avoided AT ALL COSTS! I’ve been there, and it almost killed my marriage!
But maybe, luckily you stranded somewhere else, and they say, you need to communicate with your wife. Your needs, your wants, etc. So you think this is how it’s done.
Communication for the sexes
Both sexes communicate very differently. The primary form of communication for a man is overt. Direct.
We say what we mean and what we want. However, women communicate covertly.
They work with cues, subtle hints, and behavior. They rarely communicate directly what they mean. Mostly, because they don’t know. I’ll get to that in a second.
Unless you are talking about your day, or what your friends are up to, this doesn’t really matter, because no hard feelings are involved.
We tend to talk past each other sometimes, but no big deal, right? Doesn’t really matter, no important topic.
For the feminine, the environment shapes what she feels, and thus what she says.The Conqueror
However, when it comes to sex, or your relationship, your kids, all that emotional stuff, both sexes react differently due to different approaches.
A man is rational in his thoughts.
We know we want sex a certain amount of times, we want variety (women as well by the way), and we want her to be submissive. And we could voice that overtly. Your woman won’t understand it. Not because she is stupid, or doesn’t care. It’s because she doesn’t feel it.
How women think about sex
An age-old question, I know. Women rarely think rationally.
This is due to their femininity, which is Chaos. Emotions are chaotic, random, and impulsive. Women are way more emotional than men. For good reason.
However, it is best if you think differently about this; women rarely think, they mostly feel. So it is not important how you make her think, it matters how you make her feel.
We all had that moment, where she happily says yes to one thing, but then has tons of second guesses an hour later and says different. For us men, this is confusing as hell. The problem is, we look at this from a logical standpoint. You need to look at it from an emotional environment standpoint.
How she feels about the relationship at this very moment is exactly how she will answer to questions you ask.
Which is also why any men who fights with a woman will always lose. In the moment of the fight, she feels very negatively about your relationship, so anything you try to solve will be machine-gunned to death. Which is the basis of this post.
Never argue about emotional stuff with women while they are loaded with negative emotions. I.e. while fighting. This will trench the whole discussion in that negative light. Never try to communicate with your wife when she’s mad.
Giving her bad reasons for no reason
What you do instead is either shift the topic to something else or leave until it cooled down, or just hug her and have fun with her emotions.
My wife always kept telling me, when I leave mid-fight, it just makes her angrier. And in pure blue pill fashion, I then decided not to leave. That made me even weaker in her eyes. But, why then did she say that?
She tried to rationalize why she says or does certain things when I leave or when we fight. Because she doesn’t know.
There is no way to rationally explain feelings. Ask yourself, why do you love your wife? There might be a few things you can name which makes her a great person. But other women might have the same traits or even better.
Love cannot be explained rationally. Feelings just are. You can decide to not act on it (which is the key for men), or you embrace them, which is what most women do.
A wise man does not argue with a woman; Not out of fear, but to not give her ideas as to why she might feel that way.The Conqueror
So when you ask your wife why she doesn’t want to have sex so much, she doesn’t fucking know. But the problem is, due to asking her, she will try to rationalize a reason into existence.
Which is probably complete bullshit. But now that it’s on her mind, it pops up every time and is now a reason to not have sex. So you actively hurt yourself!
I remember one time where I initiated with my wife while she was doing the laundry, and she declined. I then stupidly asked why she doesn’t want to.
The first thing that popped into her mind was because she needs to have that stuff finished first before relaxing for sex. Now this shit was on her mind.
It didn’t bother her years before that, so it’s bullshit. But now it is a reason that makes sense rationally, so every time I try to initiate while she does something, it comes up.
Never listen to the media and pop culture
And that’s one reason why trying to communicate with your wife is dangerous. You will just give her reasons which bare no sense in reality as to why.
Instead, if you just said nothing, smiled, gave her a kiss on the forehead, she would’ve probably proceeded with whatever she was doing right then, and didn’t have second thoughts as to why she wasn’t in the mood.
You also end up talking yourself into a corner, saying things you don’t want, or you end up excusing and explaining yourself which is really weak.
You know what you want, there is no need to explain or excuse yourself for wanting to fuck the shit out of her. This is who you are. Period. The more you talk, the worse you are making it.
The issue with TV shows
Pop culture TV shows play a big role in that. I have shat enough on the Media so far, so let the leftist “journalists” out for a second.
When you watch TV shows with married couples, they have to communicate as the nature of the show. If nobody says anything, and they work with cues, this makes for a shit show. So, naturally, they communicate about problems. But those are not real couples, and what is displayed is rarely based in reality.
I don’t know if you’re aware of the show King of Queens. It was very popular, but it’s also pretty old.
In that show, we have an overweight husband, achieving nothing in his life, which is also a pathological liar because he is literally afraid of his wife. And we have his wife, which is beautiful, works in a big company around successful people, but is an insufferable cunt at home because her husband is a loser.
And he tries to communicate with his wife about the issues they have.
However, they would never have sex in that stage of the marriage, because she literally resents him. And she would’ve dropped the good looks ages ago because there is no need.
This show is blue pill heaven and very far from reality. The point being? This conditions men (and women) to act like that. And this is where you have it all wrong, and wonder why it never works.
How to communicate with your wife properly
You don’t. No, seriously, as I mentioned, shooting the breeze, talking about everyday stuff, of course. Maybe you can even talk about the meaning of the universe, all fine and well.
But never try to communicate to your wife that you want more sex. You need to indirectly make her want to have more sex with you.
Man’s display of his greatness is silent. Actions speak louder than words without saying anything.The Conqueror
You become the best version of yourself, you hit the gym, you fix your diet, dress properly, lead yourself so you can lead others later.
Then you actively start to lead your wife in everyday situations and see her wanting you more. This is no secret magic way of doing it. This has worked for hundreds of husbands. Why? It is nature! How men and women are. He leads, she follows. You just stopped leading.
Never say you need more sex, that makes you needy, a major turn off.
She is the hottest for you when she knows you don’t need her pussy. Because then, you decide to ravish her on your own accords, not hers. You are the dominant force, not her. This is what she craves!
Personal story: As soon as I was heavily involved in my personal mission, SELFCONQUERING, writing books, etc. I kind of “forgot” about sex. I just wasn’t so interested, I had other things on my mind and didn’t need the external validation anymore.
Women pick this up real quick. Suddenly she was all hot for my dick and even said, “I could have it all day right now.” That woke me up.
Remember mutual exclusion.
How to get kinky
Once you got her back on the sex train, you will probably try different things. Never ask that before, or at lunch or something.
Command her in bed! If you want her Doggystyle, either tell her directly (not asking, if. Tell her to turn around!) or you just move her in the position you want and go about it.
When she does something you like, for example, a blowjob, tell her she’s a good girl. The good girl line works wonders.
It has something dominant to it, and it praises her. She will love it. Advance it by using your hand to tell her what to do. You don’t need to communicate to your wife what you want. Although this works as well, move her body as you wish. And while doing so, tell her she’s a good girl.
Praise her to glory
There is one way on how to communicate with your wife that actually works, even in sexual terms. And this is praise.
Remember, the masculine grows with challenge, the feminine grows with praise. It sounds weird, but if you want her to do something, or to get something out of her, you need to praise her for it before she even does it.
If you accept that the feminine likes to follow your lead, you know exactly what you have to do to get the most out of her.The Conqueror
For example, if you want her to exercise because she put on weight, you don’t say, “You need to exercise, you’ve put on weight.” That would be the manly way. Rational, logic, correct. But remember, the feminine feels.
And this makes her feel negative about her body. Instead, you should say, “I love the shape of your body.”
I know it sounds backward because you seem to be supporting bad behavior. But what you are actually doing, is emphasizing what’s important to you (her body) in a positive way.
Her own neurotic chaos will make her want to look best for you naked, so that’s why she will work out. And, well, you need to lead by example. If you’re obese, you can’t expect her to be fit.
Also, this only works if she admires you, if she resents you, she won’t do shit. Admiration can be achieved here.
My wife started working out and eating healthy because I did. It took a few weeks of delay, but whenever I implement something and stick to it, she follows suit.
Acta non verba
We beat this dead horse a lot. But for men, you need to remember, words are cheap, actions are not.
If you communicate with your wife about things, the probable outcome is that you end up with more chores to please her. More hoops to jump through for pussy. Not a very clever way.
So ditch that mindset. Do not talk about these things. Either be direct in what you want (for example lingerie) or lead by your own actions.
Move her to what you want, or be what you want her to be (fit, healthy). Don’t ask for permission, ask for forgiveness.
It sounds dickish, but if you ask to shoot a load into her face while you’re at dinner, that isn’t really the right situation, and she’ll probably decline. If you just do it while you’re in a really hot romping session, she’ll take it. 100%.
She may try to rationalize things afterward, as to why she did it. But does it matter?
Trying to communicate to your wife about these things is a surefire way to get less sex, more chores, and more resentment. Be a man and DO things, instead of asking for it.