Alpha’s will be jumping the walls of this blog. Storming the beaches of my Twitter and my Youtube. How could you say such atrocious things? The shit-tests must be defended with walls as thick as Troy’s! Well, my angry friend. The world isn’t black and white.
If you’re not aware of the concept of shit-tests, check out this post.
However, we tend to think, once we try to become a better man. A masculine man. We need to keep a truly strong frame. And I talk about this a lot on this blog. Never lose frame, always be in tune with yourself, etc.
Reality always looks different. If you choose to do something, you usually end up doing 70-ish percent of it. Hence why I talk in absolutes, so you do enough!
Reality is, that nobody is perfect. And changing into a better man doesn’t happen overnight. You don’t suddenly do X, and now your girl wants to fuck you like crazy. If someone sells you this shit, he is indeed doing that. Selling.
If you’ve been a Nice Guy in the past, chances are, once you wake up, you want to fix it all. And you will end up polarizing in the exact opposite. You’ll become an asshole. Now, while this might get you laid, occasionally, it doesn’t really provide for a deep relationship.
Also, you’re human.
A real man
See, as I already talked about the ratio in the body language post. In that regard, you are also “free” to fuck up occasionally with your mindset. As long as the overall frame is correct most of the time.
Nobody is perfect. You will eventually fuck up and fail a shit-test. But this isn’t all worlds end. As long as the overall image she has of you is still correct. If you are masculine 75% of the time, this truly doesn’t matter.
A man is a sum of his actions. For there isn’t one special occasion that makes him male. It is his whole life.The conqueror
Our lives are the sum of the small things we do each day. And so are relationships. If everything would be digital, on or off, we could never have relationships. So what to take from this?
Don’t hate yourself
When you slip up and reassess the last fight (read: shit-tests) you had with your girl in your mind, you might be thinking badly of you.
“Damn, wasn’t Alpha enough. Didn’t stand my point enough.”
And so on.
Don’t hate yourself. Remember, you need to love yourself. And all your flaws! You’re a man, not a machine. You can’t always be perfectly tempered. If you try to do that, you’re already in the Nice Guy mindset again, trying to meet your needs (which is good) without rocking the boat (which is bad).
A true man is comfortable with all his shortcomings. For he shall be able to address them.The conqueror
Don’t be afraid to fuck up! Important is, that you stand up for your needs. This might sometimes even lean a bit into the whiny mood. Not bad, as long as you’re a man overall. And, well, don’t be crying all the time.
The pressure of ditching the beta
When you are trying to become a better man, you usually put on an act. I did that myself. I tried to act so hard, but it comes off laughable. The reason? It doesn’t come from yourself.
Being a man is a mindset shift. And that takes time, effort, and error. It’s not a switch you flick and “poof”, dripping testosterone. It takes time to forge the manhood in yourself. Especially if you’ve lost it a while ago.
Anything worthwhile takes a lot of time to accomplish.The conqueror
You will fuck up, but remember, what your girl thinks of that doesn’t fucking matter at all. You do this to fix yourself! You are trying to become better and lose the beta. The process isn’t easy, so of course, you’ll fuck up along the way. But because you were a beta for so long, and this is the image your girl has of you, you are trying to make it right all the time.
For her view of you to shift, it’ll take a while. Probably years before she fully accepts your new self. Until then you will eventually fall back into betaism. Mostly by failing shit-tests. This might set you back in her eyes, but again, I need to repeat it, you don’t do it for her!
Also, I would recommend staying with that girl, so you can actually judge IF you get better at all. If you just switch plates, you might make the same mistakes again. You didn’t grow at all.
There is no such thing as a medal or a certificate that will grant you Alpha-status at some point. It doesn’t even matter if you fuck 50 women, you might still be beta in relationships. Remember this post, I made the conqueror a fantasy figure for a reason. Becoming a better man is a never-ending process.
This never stops!
Embrace that fact. Learn to love the process itself.
Try to be better each day, instead of working towards a certain point, where you’re suddenly set. That won’t happen.
And within that reason, it is totally fine to fuck up in between, and even fail shit-tests. As long as you aim for getting better each day, occasional fuck-ups are not worth losing sleep over.
Do you occasionally feel like you hate yourself after you’ve fucked up? Did you already notice it but you’re now becoming aware of it? Let me know below.
How to fuck up and still move forward
I am dead sure most of you will fail the 90 day self-project the first time. I did as well. You can try to prove me wrong by getting it here. But trust me, it’s not easy. Still, even if you fail, you’re making progress!
Get it here and truly find yourself.