Why you need three soldiers in yourself

No, I am not talking about putting masks on yourself for other people. Every person has a different perception of you anyway. And most of them are probably wrong.

I am saying, you need three internal versions of the You. Three soldiers on your march to glory.

It’s actually quite easily explained.

The three soldiers of yourself

  • Your miserable past you (The Nice Guy)
  • Your current You (The Ascendant)
  • And yourself as an idol (The Conqueror)

The miserable past

Depending on where you are in your life, the miserable past you and the Ascendant Soldier are pretty similar. I am talking about the Nice Guy self. You know, the loser type, who is shit with women, money, friends, society, and his own damn mind.

Weak beta male
The Nice Guy. Also known as loser, pleaser, weak, back-biting, sexless, useless. My older self.

You are on this blog for a reason. Because you know this version of yourself sucks balls, and you want to change. Be it becoming a little bit better, or change yourself completely, doesn’t matter. The three soldiers still stand.

People tell you to forget the past, but I disagree.

You shall not live in the past, but you shall never forget it.

The conqueror

It is your way of knowing what you never want to be ever again. Whenever something doesn’t go your way, think about which guy currently had this exchange. Chances are, it was the Nice Guy.

Right now you are probably still that dude. And it feels bad, your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you, or is just starfishing. You don’t make money to have cool things. Whatever it is.

But there are multiple reasons as to why you are at that place.

And this is why it is important to remember the person you are right now when you start your ascend. So you never fall back into old patterns.

Accepting the Nice Guy, first

Before you start any betterment of yourself, you need to accept who you are.

This is the real acceptance-movement. You know who you are right now. You know what mistakes brought you here, but this isn’t who you want to stay forever.

The difference between just accepting who you are and doing jackshit about it, and accepting who you are, but taking measures to get better.

Ask yourself, after you’ve read some knowledge, “why does my wife not want to have sex with me? Where am I being a weak loser? Where do I spend money wrongly? Why am I not investing in stuff? Where am I eating badly?”

All these questions are tough. Because it shows you, how much of a fuck-up you are.

It shows you your real you. Yourself in the mirror. Without the fluff. Just the cold hard reality of who you are.

The process of ascending to glory

And here we have the Ascendant You. This guy is aspiring to be a world-beater. Someone to be reckoned with. You want to be someone worth something.

A soldier climbing to glory
The Ascendant. You strive to become better. You put in the work to become a force to be reckoned with.

I will become what my soul demands!

The ascendant

This is literally who you are right now on your journey. You are better than the Nice Guy, because you already on this blog and trying to find info on how to win at life.

This already makes you better than 90% of people.

You’ve learned a bunch of things about women or money, but you’re still not who you could be.

And you’re still not who you want to be.

But it’s fine. Don’t belittle yourself for not conquering life yet. It is a process. And it is a lifelong process. I will get to that in a second.

However, the Ascendant should already be noticeably better than the Nice Guy. If you aren’t, put in the damn work! Stop mentally masturbating what you could be, and get on with it!

Also, if you haven’t already, I would recommend reading my three-part essay about masculinity. That’ll set you up:

Part I – True masculinity

Part II – Sex and women

And Part III – Love and purpose

The Conqueror

cartoon of a conqueror riding a horse with a beautiful woman red dress
The Conqueror. A world-beater. Ruling life, women, and most importantly, himself.

This is the version of yourself, you want to be. The image you have in your mind, what a real man is, with your face on it. He is integrated, calm, collected, also forceful, aggressive, and of huge willpower.

Great. But it’s not as easy as you think.

This guy is what you strive for. But the way you set him up is very important. Don’t make it too easy to achieve. In fact, make it impossible!

I intentionally chose a fantasy picture for the conqueror.

You should never be satisfied with who you are.

You should be satisfied with milestones you achieved, and things you got better at, but never with the state of yourself. The guy you imagine as the Conqueror can never be met. This way, you will have something to strive toward, for the rest of your life.

It’s like God when this society was still somewhat religious. God is an idol, he judges you at all times. Any idol does.

Because the idol shows you what you aren’t. Your flaws, your shortcomings. But this is good! Because through this you can see your flaws. And work towards fixing them.

You can never be the guy in the picture above, because he is a comic figure. You can never be a God, because, well… you know why.

But you can strive to be at least close! And that is what propells you!

How a weak society built you wrongly

Remember the outrage in the UK, when this fit female model was on a billboard, and people got mad, and forced the government or whoever is in charge to take it down.

Because it provides an “unrealistic standard” for women or some shit.

First of all, this isn’t an unrealistic standard, because it was a real person! This wasn’t some videogame fantasy girl with unrealistic proportions. It was a real woman, hitting the gym regularly.

But the important part is this, people see only the judging part. Because this image judges you. If you are a fat fuck, and you see this image, you are reminded who you achieve nothing in your life. Not even a healthy body.

My approach then is to see this as a goal. An idol. Something worth my respect, because that person put in a ton of work to get that body.

The approach of the loud minority is to call them out, project their own insecurities onto them, and rather have the whole world bow to their knees instead of fixing their own damn life.

Rebel against mediocrity.

The whole world is made of average people. See fit, successful, and winning people as idols, not as people looking down on you.

Retirement fallacy

People think you get better, and at some point, you’re done. This is not only wrong for your work, but it is also wrong for yourself.

Why would you stop striving for something at a certain age? You try to get better until you’re dead.

The image of The Conqueror might change later in life. Sure. But it should still be something impossible to achieve. Not like superman. But whenever you get better at something, you add another skill to The Conqueror.

In the process, your Ascendant you will become a fucking monster!

Negativity issues

Don’t think negatively of the Conqueror, because you can never achieve his greatness. And he judges you constantly. An idol is always a judge.

Because looking at him makes you realize, you’re not who he is. And as we established, you never can be. But that’s not the point.

The only time you shall stop improving yourself is in death.

The conqueror

He is something to keep in mind. To strive for. If he isn’t there, where do you go? What are your goals? Your personal achievements? What do you want to be?

He is the image of what you want to be. And before you conquer the world, you need to conquer yourself.

Keep these three versions of yourself in your mind. Or write them down, which is even better.

Keep track of your progress. This will tremendously help you notice mistakes in your behavior, and help you fix them for the future.

Become the best version of yourself.

–Alexander Graves

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