Why you should never help a woman

Sounds sexist right? To never help a woman.

Men are rational, which is why when your woman comes home with an issue, the first thing that comes to your mind is to fix her problem. But a woman doesn’t want that. She knows how to fix the issue (in most cases). She’s not dumb, she wants you to take care of her feelings.

Don’t fix her problems, fix her feelings.

The baseline of this whole post is taken from this post on marriedredpill. I don’t recommend this sub because it blinded me for the longest time, found out here why. But some baseline infos are correct.

Feelings are like drugs to women

Women crave feelings. Anything other than feeling bored. Happy, sad, lust, in love, mad, disgusted, all of them are more powerful than any crazy drug. They NEED to FEEL.

Understand and accept this and life with a woman will be much easier for you. As a man, you are inherently rational and logical. You accept that problems are a part of life. You accept, measure, fix. This is how you go about these things.

Most women are not like this. They are driven by feelings and they have no reason to take logic responsibility. I get to why in a second.

When a woman talks about problems, she is NOT asking you for a solution. She doesn’t give a FUCK. She’s asking you to fix her feelings. To pamper to them. Feel the same, and agree with her feelings for whatever situation.

This is when you try to fix a woman’s “problems” logically, you usually get the “You don’t get me!” and “Men just don’t understand us.”

Well, nobody does because feelings are not rational. And that is the point. With rationality, you will always lose.

So here are a bunch of examples that will open your eyes how women operate and why you should never help a woman. Rationally.

Examples why you shouldn’t help

  • “Do I look fat in those jeans?” A man’s rationale would be to lose weight if you think you are fat. A woman doesn’t want to know that. She is asking you to make her feel better about her body right now. Because she rarely feels good about it.
    This is a tough scenario, because these body issues obviously also play a role in the sex you have, so you desperately want to fix that issue. However, if you keep telling her how hot she is, that is external validation and pointless. She needs to learn that from within.
    Which is why in such scenarios I usually use Amused Mastery and Sarcasm: “Nah it’s the jeans’ fault for making you look that way.” and smile.
  • “I had a bad day, my boss is an asshole.” She’s venting. She doesn’t want solutions. She knows them. Telling these people to shut it. She wants you to confirm how much of a bitch Stacy truly is, etc. She wants to know that she’s worth listening to.
    However, caveat. If she comes home in a shitty mood EVERY DAY for months, then you DO NOT confirm her feelings. Because then she fucking needs to fix that issue. And SHE needs to do that. So you just SHUT UP as mentioned in the Nice Guy Bible. This way, she will carry these emotions into the next day and actually tell the people that need to hear it.
  • Women suck at story telling. Why? They know nothing about captivating the audience, or building up tension towards the resolution of the story. All they do is RELIVING their feelings while telling the story. You’re just the inactive NPC in the audience trapped to listen to this while she feel-jerks off.
    Now this sounds a bit bitter, but it isn’t. You just have to realise where you find yourself. And then you decide if you want to be the emotional dumpster for today or if you tell her that you’re not interested in that story today. She will be pissed, but you know, at least she feels something 😉
  • “I thought we’d have a baby/house/car/whatever to keep up with the Joneses by now.” No amount of reason or logic will “solve” this. She doesn’t want your rational thoughts. She feels bad about her life. Address is by distracting her or fix the damn problem yourself.

What to do instead?

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1. Shut the fuck up. You don’t understand Amused Mastery, Agree and Amplify, etc. good enough to use them correctly.

Hell it took me years to get a grasp of it.

So the best course of action is to not say anything. Do not engage in her emotional drama. If anything, agree with Stacy being a bitch to confirm to her feelings. But as soon as you talk, you will probably came back into fixing issues since you’re a man. So shut your trap.

2. Give her a hug.

Feeling, right? Hugging is giving good feelings. If she’s spiralling down into how her life sucks, just hug her and spin her around.

It also gives a sensation of safety.

3. Amused Mastery and other sarcastic responses

I know I told you not to use these methods yet, but for starters you can just reply to 80% of her emotional remarks with sarcasm. Not straight being an asshole, make it funny. She doesn’t care about your logic anyway (unless of course, we’re talking important life decisions, but little daily details, fuck it).

Respond and control her feelings to what you want! Use sass instead of debating to switch her feelings around. It’s more effective and everyone wins. This is the best method to put the brakes on when she’s on the highway to spiral down into negative feelings.

An example: When she’s bitching about how you still haven’t done XYZ, you could say, “I delegated that to our son (when he is clearly too young to even understand it, that makes it funny), but he still hasn’t done it!” and smile. You’re above whatever shit she brings, and most importantly, YOU decide when you do certain things, nobody else.

4. Ass smack, dry humping, dancing, etc.

Anything that throws her out of the negative spiral. She doesn’t want a solution. She just wants to feel better. Smack her ass, or pull her pants down, start to dance with her out of nowhere. Make it a surprise, especially in that situation, so she is confused but in a good way.

This IS holding frame. You’re not pulled into her negative feelings. You’re not being controlled by her.

And if you do it right she will be secretly thinking, “Thank you, my husband for stopping my spiral. I appreciate a man that can cut through the shit and get us back on track.” And most likely, you’ll have great sex that night.

This is also why the asshole got the girl. While you were so busy fixing her issues (being pulled into her emotional frame), he was busy not giving a shit and just proceeded to enjoy his life.

Hold frame, be sarcastic, don’t be pulled into her emotions, and bat off shit-tests. That’s really all you need to do INSTEAD of fixing her problems.

Hope it helped.


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About Alexander Graves

About Alexander Graves

Hey there! I'm Alexander Graves and I teach men how to live a life of happiness, abundance, and joy, without using weird techniques. Just by being your authentic self.