Good morning friends, it’s Alexander again, coming to you from the Ascension Academy. Today, I want to share seven essential principles that will help you become a godly and good leading husband. This isn’t the red pill nonsense that you might hear about dominance and manipulation. No, this is about becoming a strong, spiritual leader in your home, as God has called us to be. These principles come from a man I admire — George Heyworth. With over 14 years of experience in the military, including a tour in Afghanistan, George has lived through many trials. He’s developed seven battle-tested principles for leadership that I’ve adapted to align with God’s way, as laid out in the Bible. These principles aren’t just for the military — they’re meant to guide you as a husband, father, and man of faith.
Watch the full video here:
Let’s dive into them:
1. Lead by Example
The first and most important principle is to lead by example. In 1 Peter 5:1–4, we are instructed:
“So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.”
What does this mean? You cannot expect others, especially your children or your wife, to do things that you aren’t doing yourself. If you want your children to grow up with good habits, you need to set the example. If you want your wife to open up emotionally, you must first lead by being open yourself. As men, we are called to lead, and we lead by example — not by forcing others to follow, but by showing them the way through our actions.
This principle isn’t just for your home. It extends to all areas of your life, even social media. You can’t force people to follow you. Instead, be someone worth following, and others will naturally follow your lead.
2. Don’t Wait for Perfect Conditions
In Ecclesiastes 11:4, we are reminded:
“Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.”
Perfection doesn’t exist. If you wait for the perfect conditions to do something, you’ll be waiting forever. Whether it’s in your marriage, your career, or your personal life, don’t wait for everything to fall into place. Start with what you have. Take action with the tools and resources you have at your disposal. It’s better to start imperfectly than to wait for perfect conditions that may never come.
3. Be Decisive
James 1:5–8 teaches us:
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.”
When God gives you guidance, take action. Don’t hesitate or wait for further confirmation. Faith means trusting that God has given you the wisdom and that your next steps are the right ones. Doubt and hesitation will only make you unstable. So, when you feel led, take decisive action.
4. Maximize Human Potential
In 1 Corinthians 12:4–7, we read:
“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.”
Each person has unique gifts and talents, and part of your role as a godly husband is to help your wife, children, and those around you maximize their potential. Whether at home or in the workplace, recognize and encourage the unique gifts in those you lead. Help your wife develop her gifts so she can be the best version of herself. As a husband, it’s your responsibility to support and encourage the gifts God has given her, just as you should do for your children.
5. Two Are Better Than One
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 says:
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
In marriage, you are better together. Alone, you can’t accomplish as much. Leadership is a shared responsibility. You and your wife must work as a team, supporting each other’s strengths and helping each other grow. Don’t buy into the lie that it’s all on the man’s shoulders. Marriage is a partnership. As you both grow in your faith and as individuals, you’ll be able to serve God together, stronger than ever.
6. The Wicked Get a Say
Proverbs 16:9 says:
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
Sometimes, even the best-laid plans fall apart. You can do everything right, but external forces — whether people or circumstances — may derail your efforts. However, God has control over everything. Don’t let setbacks discourage you. Instead, trust that God will guide you through the challenges, and be willing to adjust your course when needed.
There’s a reason the Bible speaks so much about patience and trust. Leadership isn’t just about making decisions — it’s about navigating through challenges and trusting God to guide you when things don’t go as planned.
7. Leadership Isn’t About Pleasing People
Galatians 1:10 says:
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Leading your household isn’t about making everyone happy. Sometimes, your wife and children won’t understand the decisions you make. They may not like what you say or do. But as a godly man, your primary responsibility is to please God — not people. This doesn’t mean neglecting your wife or family, but it means making decisions based on God’s guidance, even if it’s difficult. There will be times when you’ll have to do what’s best for your family, even when they don’t like it. But in the end, they will see that it was for their good, and they’ll thank you for it.
These seven principles may not be easy to live by. I’m still working on them myself. But remember, being a great husband and leader isn’t about perfection. It’s about striving to serve God, lead your family, and grow together in faith. If you apply these principles in your life, I promise you will become a better, godly man, leading your household properly.
Stay strong, stay faithful, and always work for the praise of God.
