“Most men will only experience unconditional love from their mothers. For some, even that may not come. Many men grow up without feeling true appreciation or respect—without hearing words like, “I see you, I’m proud of you, and I’m glad you’re here. You really make a difference.” Instead, there’s an expectation to continuously display strength and love, while the world hesitates to return it. We’re taught to have thick skin, but if that skin turns into a hard shell, we’re judged.
Step 1: The Hunger You Have to Ignore
The first step in becoming a man is learning to ignore the hunger. Yes, you’re going to be starving. Starving for attention, affirmation, love, and being told that you’re enough.
Step 2: Compatibility with Replaceability
Step two in becoming a man is embracing the concept of replaceability. Society teaches that you are only as good as you are useful. You are only as valuable as you are needed by others. This is the harsh reality that many men face. The expectation is that you will provide, contribute, and keep going, often without a word of gratitude. If one day you fail to keep up that smile, if you fail to make everyone around you happy, don’t be surprised when the world says that all men do is take up space.”
(Check out the video to this very well said poem)
Challenging the “Good Boy” Mindset
As men, we are often raised to suppress our needs and desires. Many of us were taught that being a “good boy” meant not having needs or asking for anything.
We were taught that real men just do the work and keep their emotions in check.
Hell, the Red Pill talks about this endlessly “just suck it up,” “man up,” you know the drill.
This mentality was drilled into us by well-meaning parents who were also products of a different generation. In the past, it might have made sense for men to shut down their emotions, but today, it’s not healthy or sustainable.
The Dangers of the “Nice Guy” Syndrome
I grew up with a belief that if I didn’t have needs and just kept quiet and worked hard, I’d be a good boy. But that kind of mindset, though prevalent, is damaging.
We’ve been taught to bottle everything up and just “man up,” but that approach can ruin a man’s life over time. You can only suppress your emotions for so long before it takes a toll on your well-being.
The Importance of Speaking Up
It’s time to change the narrative. Men need to speak up for themselves and ask for what they want and need in their relationships.
I am not talking about nice-guy tantrums and whining about how you never get head. Because I know many go straight for that route.
This also isn’t about being selfish or demanding—it’s about being honest and clear.
If you want your partner to cook for you, tell them. If you need affection, communicate that. If you want to have sex once a week, tell her.
It’s not about making demands; it’s about establishing mutual respect and open communication.
I clearly told my wife I want sex at least once a week, and a blowjob once a week. At first she was reluctant, but in the end she admired the honesty and the clarity of voicing my needs.
I didn’t ask or beg, or threaten. I clearly simply stated “this is what I want” and then let her to decide if she does it or not.
Vulnerability is Strength, Not Weakness
True strength comes from being vulnerable and open. It’s not about sucking it up and pretending everything is fine. Real strength lies in being honest about your feelings and your needs, even when it’s difficult.
When you’re honest about what you want in a relationship, you create a stronger, healthier bond with your partner. You may risk rejection, but that’s a chance worth taking.
Letting Go of Past Programming
Many men were raised with the idea that being tough means keeping everything to yourself. We were taught that asking for help or admitting our struggles was a sign of weakness.
It’s time to let go of that old programming. Suck it up? No. Speak up for yourself and ask for what you need.
Do you really want to continue living as the silent “nice guy,” never getting your needs met?
Or do you want to stand up for yourself and face the challenges of being your true self?
On top, if you DO open up emotionally (from a position of strength, not whining), you can see this as a chance to vet your woman. Does she get the ick? Then she’s for the streets.
Can she hold the space for your emotions? True love.
The Adventure of Truth
Speaking your truth is an adventure.
It’s uncomfortable and it can feel like your world is turned upside down, but it’s necessary. As Jordan Peterson wisely said, when you start speaking the truth every day, your life will go crazy.
At first, it’s chaotic, but that chaos is the fertile ground for growth.
It’s through this process that you can find out who you truly are and what you truly want in life.
Don’t Settle for Less
Along the way, you may encounter women who can’t handle your honesty or vulnerability. If that happens, don’t settle for less. Let them go.
You deserve someone who appreciates and respects you for who you are. You shouldn’t have to hide your true self to keep someone in your life.
True intimacy comes when both partners are open, vulnerable, and honest with each other.
Men Deserve Appreciation Too
As men, we sacrifice a lot for our families. We give up hobbies, dreams, and personal time to support those we love.
And that’s fine.
We love it to be the provider.
But that sacrifice should be recognized. Your wife should see you, appreciate you, and tell you that she’s proud of you.
You deserve affection, not just in the form of sex, but in words and actions that show care and gratitude.
The Need for Mutual Understanding
The battle of the sexes is a real thing, but it doesn’t have to be. Both men and women need to understand each other better.
Men need to voice their needs and stand up for themselves, and women need to do the same. It’s about creating a partnership built on mutual respect, understanding, and open communication.
And we REALLY need to stop this:
You DESERVE love from your wife. Even as a man.
You don’t HAVE to make millions of Dollars.
It’s instagram bullshit.
A real woman is a ride-or-die-girl.
Remember the vows you made?
FOR BETTER OR WORSE.
About time women step up to this.
(Best way to do this is by focusing on your purpose given by God. This takes attention away from women and higher goals. Once you follow that path, she either will come around, or can stay behind. Simple. Find out here how to do that.)
True Strength is Being Open
True strength for men is not about hiding emotions or pretending everything is fine. It’s about standing firm in who you are, saying what you need, and being open about your feelings.
It’s about breaking free from the societal pressures that tell you to “man up” and instead embracing the power of vulnerability.
Which is just a word with a bad connotation.
Vulnerability really just means honest.
“If you have something to say and you don’t say it, you’re lying.” —Jordan B. Peterson
Conclusion: Stand Up for Yourself
Men, it’s time to stand up for yourselves.
You are not weak for feeling, and you are not less of a man for expressing your needs. Stop hiding behind the “nice guy” persona and start being honest with yourself and your partner.
The journey may be difficult, but it will lead to a life that is true to your soul.
You deserve to be seen, appreciated, and loved for who you truly are.
Let go of the past programming, and take the adventure of truth.
On the other side of that fight, you will get the life you’ve always wanted.
