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How Porn Kills Success – How to Quit Porn

As someone who was addicted to this sh*t for years, this is near and dear to my heart. Porn is your biggest issue. But you deny it. I know, because I have been in your shoes. I know exactly how you feel.

You are controlled by it. And this lack of control over your urges is the reason why you don’t excel anywhere in your life. Because making it fly to pixels has a ton of drawbacks. Learn how porn kills success.

It stopped me from greatness. This isn’t some religious hypothetical trash. This is a story of my own experience.

You don’t even need to load up Pornhub to see actual porn these days, which is a problem on its own. But for this article, I will solely focus on pornography as you know it. Images or videos of sexual acts.

Why porn is bad for you

  • It physically changes your brain (I’ll get into the science)
  • It ruins your energy
  • Ruins your Testosterone levels
  • Ruins your relationships
  • You don’t achieve the things you want to
  • It makes you feel depressed
  • It makes you weak
  • Destroys your gym gains
  • And it’s one of the root causes you can’t get it up. Your masculinity is at stake, my friend.

Chances are, you’re highly triggered right now reading this. Trust me, I got a lot of backlash for posting something similar on Twitter.

People defend their porn addiction pretty heavily. But there is ACTUAL science behind that, and most importantly, I have yet to meet a single person who said their life got worse after quitting porn.

So, let’s find out why porn is really so bad, and in the end, how to quit it (because it’s hard).

Erectile dysfunction

Let’s start right off with the important one. If you are a vivid porn watcher, and you have a girlfriend or wife, you might have encountered the issue of not getting it up. Even if your girl is wearing the nicest lingerie.

You’re not alone. In the 1940’s ED rates for young men (under 30) were under 1% (study). In 1999, this was under 5% (study). This rise is probably due to pornographic images starting to broadly exist. But it gets worse. A 2012 study reported erectile dysfunction in men from 18-24 years at 30 fucking percent. Some other studies even reported in as high as 35%. There is a clear increase in this noticeable. Once the tube-sites started popping up, dicks stopped doing that. (Here’s a nice summary of this)

The novelty-issue

Now, numbers alone are always a bit shady. Since it might have different factors, like smoking cigarettes, etc. But there is more science behind that. We call this the Coolidge-effect. Men get bored with the same mate really quickly. This usually triggers a lot of people, but it is Evolution. Science. Check this chart:

The coolidge-effect in displayed. The novelty issue in mating, shown with rats on the effects of porn.
The Cooldige-effect displayed. This novelty-issue is the core reason which got you hooked on porn. Image by www.yourbrainonporn.com

When you drop a male rat in a cage with a fertile female, they start copulating like mad. Just like us humans do in a new relationship. But after a short period, the male rat loses interest. Even if the female still wants more, he’s bored with it. Displayed in the number of minutes till ejaculation in the chart.

If you drop different females into the cage, he starts to copulate with all of them. But the sperm rate, as well as minutes to ejaculation, stay almost the same. This is the novelty-effect or Coolidge-effect.

No worries, this has also been tested with humans. Men ejaculate more motile sperm and they do it more quickly if they see a novel porn star. So it is not just rats. Sorry, ladies. Your guy gets bored with you. But there are ways to keep things (literally) up in long-term relationships for him, or ways for her to become superhot (again).

Plus, love helps to rectify some of these lust-issues. Still, it is important to understand the basic biology of men and women.

Why can’t we chill with one partner?

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Mostly because evolution doesn’t give a damn about society. See, I am a big supporter of marriage, but I am still aware of how my male body works. And this is key if you want to live a happy life. Don’t try to sugarcoat anything, be aware of it.

An integrated man is aware of his deepest desires. True greatness lies in not being led my them. A true man leads himself.

This is Shadow Work. Accepting your darker side without being controlled by it.

Considering how this simulation we live in, is set up, the males are designed to spread their seed as far and wide as possible. For deeper reasons I won’t go into here, but if you want to know WHY men are like that, check this out.

This is deeply rooted in the brain. Desire and motivation to pursue sex are caused by a neurochemical called dopamine. The reward-circuit gets fired up by this chemical. And it is pretty one-dimensional. It doesn’t differ between a sexual act on a screen or a real sexual act. It just wants novelty.

And it gets you to pursue that by releasing the reward-chemical every time you see a new female in a sexual act.

And here we are at porn. Which is exactly that. Unending novelty with a mouse click. (By the way, this works the same with other novelty, like a new car, a newly released movie you need to see, new clothes, whatever).

Too much sex kills desire for sex

But the problem which arises from this is the following: If your brain is constantly bombarded with novel sex, females in all shapes and forms, and then you come back to see your girl naked which you’ve seen hundreds of times already, there is no dopamine released. Your primitive brain thinks, “Yeah, no, I fertilized this woman multiple times already, let’s get back to the new ones we saw earlier on the screen.”, and then you can’t get it up. You hate yourself, feel depressed, feel bad for your girl, and embarrassed.

Again, the dopamine-center is very primitive. Doesn’t mean all men are stupid, horny pigs. This reward-circuit is just very basic in what it does.

Back in the days, men would see a naked lady maybe once every two weeks or something. So the dopamine was firing like crazy, no matter if it was the same woman or not. Just the fact that you saw any naked, female body. These days though, where naked women are virtually everywhere on TV, billboards, your phone, or even your smart-watch, you don’t even need to search for it. You see novelty everywhere. Your reward-circuit constantly fires.

Why then would it fire with the same ol’ girl?

How porn kills success in your intimate relationship

Even if we ignore the reward-circuit for a moment, and imagine ourselves as being totally able to overcome our lizard brain. We don’t work on that dopamine system, we are better than that. It still has issues in your relationship. Why?

If you see a ton of sexual acts, sometimes even crazy stuff on the internet, you will want to try it with your girl. But what you are really doing there, is hunting for external validation. You think your girl is such a good girl for doing all that crazy shit. But what do you really gain from it?

For example, lot’s of couples these days are actually uploading their porn on these sites. That might be exciting short-term. But think about it long-term. When your child find mom getting a facial online, with thousands of views and weird comments. Or classmates find out, and make fun of them, even bully them because they found your clips. Your kids’ childhood ruined, because you were hunting for external validation.

Which is all this is. If you are into public sex with being caught, cumwalks, and uploading porn. You’re hunting for external validation from other people liking your sex-life. Your partner alone can’t validate you enough anymore, and you need the crazy dopamine because you’ve been so numbed from daily porn watching, that you need this kind of crazy stuff to get any feeling out of it.

Resentment and anger

On top of that, if your girl does not do these things, because it’s just… “crazy.” Then you might get resentful and angry at her. You see these couples on Pornhub, doing all that crazy stuff, but you can’t have it with your girl. So you grow resentful towards her for not doing that.

I know that because I’ve been there. When you watch public place porn, and your girl doesn’t do it, it is a fix she can’t give you. And you will resent her for that.

However, if you don’t even know about these things, or better yet, find a way to enjoy sex without just the visual and external validation, you don’t even need that stuff.

You could have a crazy good, frequent, and hot sex-life with your woman. But just because she doesn’t take a load to her face while you’re at IKEA, you grow resentful and thus ruin the relationship long-term.

Unrealistic expectations

On top of the unrealistic expectations for the sex acts itself, you also get heavily unrealistic views on women. Most of these porn stars are half plastic. Or even if they are natural, they obviously chose the most beautiful women with a bad childhood, so they ended up doing porn. So you see these perfect bodies, beautiful women, doing all that crazy shit.

While your somewhat average girl at home doesn’t. Funnily enough, she isn’t probably even average. She’s looking quite good, but those make-up enhanced porn-dolls skew your perception so heavily of what a sexy woman looks like, you just lose interest.

And then we’re back at ED, so you can’t even have real sex with a woman, even if she is not “a 10.”

Quit porn, get jacked.

This is not a joke. Once I quit porn for a few weeks, I got visibly more jacked. Noticeably more muscular. The reason is, that constant masturbation lowers your Testosterone levels. And T levels are needed for a masculine body (obviously, right?). So once they somewhat regulate themselves, your body can recover and build up!

At this point, arm-chair scientists will come in and say that there were other factors included which I didn’t take into account. Like a changed diet. Less stress, etc. which actually caused my body to change.

Fair enough. Might be, but I am not the only one reporting this. Also, because you’re already pulling up those studies that porn actually increases testosterone, let’s tackle this issue.

Does porn really decrease your testosterone?

There is this study from The Archives of Sexual Behavior from 1984 that after watching porn for 90 minutes, testosterone levels increase by 35%. This is the only study which is cited literally everywhere when this topic comes up.

First of all, this study is locked behind a paywall for some reason. I couldn’t find a free version of it anywhere, which is kind of shady. Aaand it is actually bullshit. Porn does neither increases nor decreases your testosterone. But it has similar effects. Let me explain…

Let’s just accept the study from 1984 as true for a second. There are some issues with it, plus how it was conducted.

Firstly, this study is from 1984. That’s almost 40 years old. Porn was way different back then, as in, it was actual full-length movies with a story. You can find vintage porn clips on the known tube-sites. They are almost always full-movie length and the sex-scenes are even quite scarce. Throughout the 90+ minutes of these movies, you may have 5-8 sex-scenes, which have a huge build-up, and story to it.

It’s not just blatant fucking and genitals interacting. It is actual sex. As I mentioned above. The art of how people have sex is way different from what you get on porn sites today. Which has nothing to do with testosterone (as far as we know), but is metaphysically better.

Secondly, men back then weren’t as addicted to porn as dudes are today. This means, if a man with a healthy sex-life watches a porn clip, I can see how this would increase his T levels shortly, because his lizard brain thinks it is actual sex. Which is where T levels rise. We know that. But if this is just one occurrence of such a scene, that’s not an issue. The real issue is the constant (i.e. daily) consumption of porn which most men do these days.

And thirdly, a 35% increase after 90 minutes! 1 1/2 hours of porn for that minimal increase? If you don’t eat sugar, you already bettered your T levels by 25%. T levels fluctuate between 10-40% in healthy men all day. So is it really worth it? Imagine what you could do in those 90 minutes where you literally waste away time that could be used to build your empire, improve your physique, and become successful, so hot girls will want to fuck you. Instead of watching them being fucked by Chad.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather fuck a real hot girl.

Either way, here are way more links and detailed studies (or the lack thereof).

The issue with porn studies

The general problem I have with these studies, is that they are usually taken in the wrong environment. A healthy man with a healthy sex-life watching a porn clip maybe once in 3 months is no issue. Hell, if you have a healthy sex life with your wife, and you both occasionally watch porn together to get you going, there’s nothing wrong with that. That doesn’t kill your T levels.

The issue is, that everyone cites this 40-year-old study of healthy men watching a few porn clips and then use it to justify their addiction to watch porn daily for hours.

And then they completely neglect newer studies, experiments, or even real-life evidence from people who quit. Which is what we call confirmation bias.

porn on the brain
Porn physically alters areas in your brain. Image from yourbrainonporn.com

We know for a fact that it physically alters your brain! A process that will only be reverted after at least 120 days of not seeing anything too sexual! We know for a fact it is the reason for erectile dysfunction, as I already outlined above. We know, it ruins sexual relations in your intimate relationships due to wrong expectations. And much more I will keep laying out in this article.

Yet, because the short-term pleasure of it is so great, people defend it so heavily, and come up with more and more bullshit as to why it may be good. Glad you’re here to learn the truth!

Does it reduce prostate cancer?

This is one of you guys’ favorite reason to rub one out. It reduces prostate cancer due to the contractions of ejaculation. Here is a great link about this whole topic. These studies which are constantly cited about this, mention themselves that some correlations might be wrong because other studies said differently.

“Previous investigations on reported ejaculation frequencies or sexual intercourse and prostate cancer are limited to studies of retrospective design and results are mixed. Nine studies observed a statistically significant12327 or non significant2830 positive association; 3 studies273132 reported no association;7 studies found a statistically significant45,1033 or non-significant3436 inverse relationship; and 1 study37 found a U-shaped relationship. Nine42425,273032,3536 of the aforementioned studies found little or no variation in prostate cancer risk according to sexual activity during different ages.”

2004 JAMA Study from here

What they’re saying is, that there are multiple studies which don’t agree with each other on how or if it affects prostate cancer at all. This was in 2004.

Yet, they write these headlines and kindly miss that important detail. Also, it is generally painted with a broad stroke for all men. A 2009 study found, that ejaculation reduces prostate cancer risk for men entering their 50s, whereas it actually increases the risk for men in their 20s and 30s.

As with everything, that stuff is very nuanced. Which is why you’re reading a blog. Picking it up in a Facebook post headlined “Masturbation reduces prostate cancer” is really the issue here.

The feeling of sucking

Man feeling ashamed because of porn

Again, occasionally watching porn is fine (after you quit your addiction for about 120 days), or even with your partner some times. All good. As with everything. In moderation, pleasure is fine. The issue is, most men these days do not watch this in moderation.

The biggest issue seems to be that most men just don’t know about this. So if you came by this article, congratulations for finding the truth. From now on, your life will be much better. I will teach you how to quit later in this article, but if you need more guidance on how to quit, check this out.

I was the same. I grew up with the computer, playing videogames all day, and no porn blockers anywhere. Naturally I came across porn. Not only did I learn that this is the way how sex works, I also thought it is totally normal to fap to it every day.

However, I always felt bad. Or some weird, almost depressed feeling afterward. I was resentful towards my girlfriend, and I didn’t know why. Maybe you are familiar with some of the following feelings:

The bad feelings of watching porn

After you masturbated to porn, do you feel…

  • Depressed
  • Embarrassed
  • Low energy
  • Useless
  • Emasculated

Depressed, since you didn’t have real sex. A real connection. The orgasm feels kinda nice, but it’s not the same as shooting it in or on a beautiful girl. I know for a fact, some of you sat in front of your computer after you’re done, and you were wondering, “Why did I do that again goddammit?”

You didn’t achieve anything. And you know that.

A true man does not sacrifice longstanding respect for himself for the trivial fleeting pleasure.

Embarrassed, since due to your addiction, you constantly need crazier shit to stimulate your novelty-searching brain. As a result, you ended up fapping to horse-porn or shemale sex. After you’re done, you sit there, “What the fuck did I just watch? Is this truly my fetish?” (It isn’t, but it may become so)

Low energy, because ejaculating and producing sperm (literal life, right?) takes a toll on your body. It needs a lot of energy to create life. Also, the reason why men fall asleep right after sex. Ladies, you were receiving, we were creating. This low energy gets multiplied by the feelings of depression and embarrassment.

It takes about a week (if you eat properly (high protein, etc)) to replenish the proteins, vitamins, and nutrition you shoot out every time you ejaculate. So if you shoot it in a napkin each day, you rob your body of so much energy, it literally doesn’t have enough building blocks to create muscle, memory, resilience, and fitness.

Useless, since you didn’t achieve anything worthwhile. You sat at the computer because you wanted to do something. Study, write, read, create. Whatever it was, you failed to do it because you were busy searching novel mates for an hour.

Emasculated, since you can’t get it up with your girl, but you’re totally fine fapping to 2D girls. How is this manly, right? You can’t stand your man with her. She loses respect for you, and you know that.

How porn interferes with your success

There are obvious reasons like low energy, low testosterone (which would make you aggressively tackle obstacles), and depression I tackled above. But there is another big factor:

It numbs your brain.

This is especially important for creative people, like me, but also for everyone else (and maybe you are a creative person, you just don’t know). You constantly flood your brain with sexual images. Your dopamine-levels are at abnormal levels at all times. This changes your brain as I mentioned above.

How porn ruins your dopamine receptors

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Constant overusage of your dopamine receptors reduces them and thus numbs your brain to dopamine in general. Image from yourbrainonporn here.

If you are exposed to something, you will naturally get used to it. We know that if you constantly eat sugary food, ordinary food will taste very bland. Because your receptors are used to the sensation of the sugar. It’s basically the Coolidge-Effect I mentioned above all over again.

It’s the same with porn. Your dopamine receptors in the healthy, young, you are pretty sensitive. Because dopamine isn’t that abundant in ordinary everyday life. And we know that sexual desire and reward release the highest amount of dopamine possible.

So if you constantly expose your brain to dopamine in those doses, naturally, your receptors will shrink, or go away entirely to some degree. Which is also the reason why you end up masturbating to horse-porn.

Because classic missionary just doesn’t “tickle” your dopamine receptors enough.

Which is also why your real-life wife doesn’t tickle them enough. It’s too “bland” as with sugar-free food. That is also why it takes months to recover, and reboot your system (or you use a cheat-method here). You need to go out cold-turkey, so your receptors get rebuilt again.

Real men don’t think about sex all the time, they have it

You can recall those sexual images at all times, as well, right? This alone is a small dopamine-kick if through some miracle you happen to be in an environment where you actually can’t see a sexual image for some time.

Your brain is constantly filled with these images. And on top of that, you constantly have the urge to see them. Due to the dopamine-kick. So this is literally all that is on your mind. And I know, society and pop culture tells you that’s just how men are… well, no. We’re not.

See, a healthy male does enjoy lots of sex. Of course. But we don’t think about it all the time. We think about conquering the world. Conquering the current obstacle. Fixing finances, raising kids, helping society, building, creating, whatever.

A true man has higher goals on his mind than the fleeting pleasure of women.

Sex is a small part of the daily thoughts. And it should be. But with porn addiction or excessive use, your brain sees sexual images everywhere. Look at these examples.

Optical illusion dolphins
What you see in this picture might be an indication of alterations in your brain due to porn addiction.

This is a classic test picture. It’s actually used to teach the differences between a kids’ brain, and an adults’ brain. What do you see?

A loving couple, right?

Tell me how much dolphins you can find in this pic. (You should find nine of them).

“Dolphins? What are you smoking?”

Lamp butt optical illusion indicating too much porn usage
What do you see here if you flip it upside down?

If you are on your phone, turn it around. If you flip this image upside down, you might see a woman’s butt with a black string at first. But, no, it’s a fucking lamp.

If you don’t see that, and you noticed the dolphins right away, congratulations. Your brain is still somewhat healthy.

If you did see these things, I have bad news. Your brain has physically been altered by too much porn. And this clogs up your brain. You see these images, instead of other things. Maybe you would look at this lamp technically instead. Notice some flaws, think about a solution, start a lamp company, and change the world forever.

Instead, you saw ass.

Implications of physical brain changes due to porn

You miss out on so many things due to the nebulous thoughts of sex, that you live a shallow life, full of unused potential. You miss the mind-blowing experience of actual soul-connecting sex for shallow pleasure. And you miss the opportunities in front of you because you were busy thinking about ramming your female boss instead of figuring out how to further your career.

It is also consciously noticeable. After I quit porn for about a month, I saw the world differently. This might sound like woo-woo bullshit, but it’s not. I felt clearer. My eye-sight was sharp. I noticed things in the world I didn’t notice before. My brain now had computing capacity left to see things like they truly are.

I can’t even describe how much quitting porn changes any part of your life for the better.

Hopefully, I could convince you to stop porn. If you’re still not fully on the boat, check out this website with way more info, and all the implications in great detail.

Now, we covered the bad things. How to actually stop it? It’s gonna be hard. Yes, pun intended. I don’t want to sugarcoat you, this isn’t easy. The reward-circuit is your most basic operator. Fighting it won’t be easy. Hence why the reward of doing it is so great.

How to quit porn

There are two routes to take:

  1. The conscious (longer) method
  2. The subconscious (superquick) method

I am a big fan of using the subconscious mind to solve things, because 95% of your daily decisions ARE driven by the subconscious mind.

You’re not as rational as you might think.

But access to the subconscious is often times blocked or filtered by the conscious mind.

To bypass this filter (which has its reasons) we developed Subliminal Messaging.

1. The Quick Way to Quit Porn

I recommend using two programs.

One that is aimed at healing and one for your sex drive, sexual aura (so your girl is hot for you), and solving ED issues subconsciously.

If you have real sex, lots of it, you are less likely to go for porn. Simple.

The two programs in question are Diamond (for the sexual power) and Regeneration (for healing).

And, yes, I have ran both of them with great success.

If you want more personal reports from my experiences with these products, check out:

The effects were profound.

I discovered deeply rooted within where my ED, and need for sex/porn is coming from. Could solve this within myself, and now can exert genuine desire for my wife as is, and last for way longer, enjoy the act, etc.

Truly, I apply these subs everywhere in my life, nothing changed my life as quickly as those.

2. The Long Way to Quit Porn

I wonder if everyone will even read this section, but thank you for being here 😉

The immediate effects

This varies depending on the person. Some had mad cravings for the first two weeks. Others experienced them 3 months in. For some, their libido completely dropped to zero for a month. And they did feel bad.

Yes, like with any addiction, there are withdrawal symptoms to be expected. This is also why you should talk about your addiction to your girlfriend/wife (if you are in a relationship). Or should you

Either way, there are lots of effects once you start dropping porn. Here’s an article with more detail as well as lots of recovery stories and how people did it. But here are the steps on how to quit porn.

Bonus: Have a mission

It truly doesn’t matter what it is. Want to write books? You want to be the best streamer on Twitch? Want to climb the corporate ladder at your job? Start a blog to help people overcome their issues? Do it!

It doesn’t matter. Choose a mission you will pursue for the next 90 days. This will further divert your attention. You will have your mission on your mind instead of pussy.

Choose a mission that has noticeable milestones. Like with writing a book you could set milestones like, “Write 750 words each day”, and “Got five chapters done”, etc.

A man without a mission for his life is merely floating through space.

Since I started this blog and writing books, my sex-drive got less. At least that’s what arm-chair scientists would say. Reality is, that my sex-drive is now at healthy levels because I don’t see sexual images all day, but due to having goals and a mission, I got other things to do.

It’s another form of diverting attention. If you are busy winning, you don’t have time to search for the perfect clip for an hour.

Supported quitting

I have written a revolutionary course (which is also entirely free) to solve this once and for all. After failing to quit for many years I decided to take matters into my own hands.

It’s a simple 3-step process.

Get Unchained Potential here or click the image.

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–Alexander Graves

Sources

There is a lot of science behind that. The best source, since it’s easily written, is www.yourbrainonporn.com and especially the article to start here.

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Who Is Alexander?

I am a Dad, sharing his experiences and solutions to Escape the 9-5 Slavery via Online Business and Subliminal Messaging.

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