Good morning, friends, it’s Alexander here again, ready to stir the pot a bit with what I’m about to say. Brace yourselves — this might ruffle some feathers. But I’ve got to speak my mind: men have it harder in life. Now, before anyone gets triggered, let me clarify — I’m not playing the victim card. This isn’t about self-pity; it’s about perspective.
Let’s get real. Deep down, a lot of men reading this know exactly what I’m talking about. Life as a man comes with a mountain of responsibilities, regardless of what your job is. Even if you’re sitting at a desk, working spreadsheets or coding (like me), the mental load is relentless. It’s a heavy burden, and it doesn’t disappear when you clock out or turn off your computer.
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The Myth of the Chill Day Job
I recently had a conversation with someone who brought up the classic trope: “Women taking care of children have a much harder job than men working all day.” And then there’s the follow-up idea that when men come home, they should immediately take over everything so the woman can relax.
Now, let me be clear: I don’t disagree with the idea that when you come home, you should want to spend time with your kids. Why have children if you don’t want to play with them? It’s a privilege, not a chore, to be part of their lives. That’s part of being a father and a husband — investing in your family.
But what I don’t agree with is the assumption that men spend their workday chilling, sipping coffee, and doing nothing, only to finally “step up” when they get home. That idea is absurd and dismissive of what men go through daily.
Why Men Often Earn More
Here’s where this ties into another controversial topic: the wage gap. Why do men, on average, earn more? It’s not just because of systemic inequality (which is not true btw) — it’s because men, by and large, take on harder jobs. This doesn’t just mean physical labor (though most bricklayers, soldiers, and handymen are men). It’s also about mentally demanding roles.
Take coding, for instance — something I do for a living. It’s not physically taxing, but it’s mentally draining. After a long day of problem-solving, debugging, and meeting deadlines, I’m exhausted. And yet, this kind of mental fatigue is often dismissed because it’s not “visible.”
Marriage Is a Partnership, Not a Blame Game
Here’s the thing: I’m not here to diminish the work women do, especially mothers. Raising children is no joke, and it’s a full-time job, especially with active, energetic kids. But marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Both parties bring a lot to the table, and blaming one side for “not doing enough” is nothing but entitlement.
This entitlement, fueled by modern feminism, has created an unhealthy dynamic. It’s one of the reasons so many marriages are failing today. When one partner constantly feels unappreciated or accused of not contributing enough, resentment grows.
A Woman’s Eye-Opening Experiment
If you doubt that men’s lives are tough, let me share a fascinating story. In 2006, Nora Vincent wrote a book called Self-Made Man about her experience living as a man for 18 months. She wanted to prove the common feminist idea that men have it easier.
What happened? She gave up before completing her two-year experiment — because she couldn’t handle it. She admitted to hating women by the end of it because of how dismissive and rude many were to her when she presented herself as a man.
The biggest takeaway from her experience was this: men are expected to provide, protect, and endure without complaint, and society offers them little respect or gratitude in return. She said that men have a lot of problems to deal with, but nobody cares. And we should as a society. Sound familiar?
What Men Really Want
Men aren’t asking for pity. We accept our burdens — it’s part of our calling. What we do need, though, is respect, intimacy, and gratitude.
- Respect: This doesn’t mean worship — it means being appreciated for the effort we put into leading and providing.
- Intimacy: This isn’t just about sex, though that’s part of it. It’s about physical affection, like a genuine hug or a loving kiss.
- Gratitude: We don’t need daily praise, but simple gestures that show you value what we do mean the world to us.
These things matter because when a man wakes up in the morning, his mind is already racing with responsibilities. How will he provide for his family? Pay off the mortgage? Protect his loved ones from the chaos of the world? These thoughts dominate his day.
The Weight of Leadership
Leadership isn’t just about making decisions — it’s about taking responsibility. Just as Jesus bore the sins of humanity, men in leadership bear the weight of their family’s successes and failures. If something goes wrong, it’s on us. That’s a heavy burden to carry, and it’s why respect and gratitude are so essential.
A Message to Men
To the men reading this: I see you. Life is tough, and it’s not going to get easier. But that’s okay — you were made for this. Embrace your calling as a leader, a provider, and a protector. Fail forward, learn from your mistakes, and seek out strong role models.
I highly recommend Jordan Peterson as a modern “father figure” for men who lacked one. He offers incredible guidance on how to lead with integrity and purpose.
And to the women reading this: If you want a strong man, be a strong partner. Respect him, appreciate him, and stand by him. A good marriage isn’t about competition — it’s about cooperation.
Reject Modernity, Embrace God’s Design
Modern feminism has done untold damage to families by sowing division between men and women. It’s time to reject this destructive ideology and return to God’s design for marriage and leadership.
Life is hard, but there’s joy to be found in fulfilling your purpose. Lead well, love deeply, and take pride in the path God has set before you. The reward is worth the struggle.
