The Slut-Factor – Beauty vs Hotness

I know my target audience is young men, but especially as a young man, this three-part essay on how we lie (and have lied) to our women might help you understand them better. It might also help you choose a proper woman, and especially this part will teach you a lot about your mate choices. Beauty vs. hotness!

A lot of women get this completely wrong these days. They wonder why they can’t find a proper man, but the issue is, they signal to the wrong guys!

Find Part II about female Sex here.

The Beauty vs Hotness Test

This is actually from Bret Weinstein, a scientist for Biology and an evolutionary theorist. You should definitely watch his Podcast with Joe Rogan, a lot to learn there!

As a man, imagine

  • a woman that is beautiful, but not hot
  • a woman that is hot, but not beautiful

Pretty much any man can do this. We have an inate understanding of the difference. But society shifted this completely and tells women a whole lot of lies. For most men, a beautiful, but not hot women is usually a somewhat elderly woman. Not grandma, but like in the fourties or something. She radiates femininity, a warmth, and nurturing display.

Diane Lane in a negligee true femininity
Diane Lane. A true feminine woman, displaying beauty. Because she accepts herself.

This is Diane Lane. Yes, this is a somewhat skimpy outfit, but you can tell by her smile, she truly just enjoyes being a woman. She is fine with herself. Her beauty radiates from the inside. As true beauty does! It isn’t perfect. She sure as hell has things on her that are wrong, but it’s fine. She accepts them. Accepts herself.

In contrast:

Plastic Instagram model big boobs fake
She never accepted herself. All she radiates is hotness. Everything about her says fuck me. Nothing says, “Stay here and enjoy life.”

Miss plastic. She solely radiates hotness. Everything about her is about triggering sexual cues. Plastic tits, fake lips, nose, probably hips made as well, I don’t know. And a shitton of make-up. I actually first thought this is one of those sex robots, but it is apparently a real “woman”. All she does is tell, “I am hot, fuck me”. But all I see are dead eyes.

True femininity can’t be seen on the skin, it radiates outward almost invisibly.

The conqueror

Women’s misconception

Women have been told for years now that the second is what we men want. And due to porn, I would imagine, a bunch of men actually want that. Until they notice, it is shallow as hell– that’s what the misconception on beauty vs hotness comes down to. And this is where the mating strategies for men become important. As a man, we have two ways of choosing a woman biologically.

Choosing beauty

A man chooses a beautiful women, by investing into her. Which means, he will choose her as his wife, have kids with her etc (due to proper genetic material, right?). He doesn’t just think about fucking her, he has bigger plans. He screens her for being a proper mother, bringing enough femininity to his masculinity, so there is balance in raising the kids.

Mostly because kids are so unendingly needy, he has to choose a proper partner for this.

This comes with a sacrifice. He needs to give up on all other women for this. So he really needs to be sure there is more to her than just tits. We call this beauty. Because it’s from the inside.

Choosing hotness

However. Men are biologically designed to fertilize as many women as possible. It is our nature due to survival of the species (only 1 in 17 men ever reproduced on average, so it’s a survival mechanism). So if a woman comes by, radiating pure hotness no strings attached, he has a hard time resisting.

Think of it this way: If you get to further your genetical material, without the burden of taking care of a potential kid for 20 years, this is a biological bargain for you. You get to further your genes without taking care of it. This is so deeply engrained in a man’s biology, that it’s very hard to resist such offerings.

Which explains Instagram and women having 12 million followers for posting pics of their butt.

A boy goes for the perfect woman. It needs a real man to choose a beautiful woman.

The conqueror

What women (and men) want

However, this has the drawback of leaving the girl as a single mom behind with the kid. And we know for a fact, that kids develop better with both parents. And most of these “hot” girls these days might think sexual liberty is great and all that, but once their reproductive time runs out, they realize their mistake.

It mostly due to the fact, that we teach from a young age that marriage is bad. Through pop culture. Sure, it’s in comedies and all of that, but generally, the image of marriage is very badly portrayed. And especially for young women, it is tough to sacrifice.

Eating the cake and having it

If you are a young woman, and you are already married (maybe with kids), it is hard for you to resist the unending (male) attention you get everywhere. Especially on social media. Hypergamy is a real thing. You will realize that there are a lot of dudes out there, and lots of them want to fuck you. And maybe your current guy is a bit annoying. And the kids as well, so you actually rather go out partying and enjoy your body while it’s still young.

But you still want proper love, too, right? Women are so occupied with the concept of “true love” they sacrifice partying if they fall in love with a guy, but then hypergamy sets in, and they realize they could be loved by so many guys.

It’s confusing!

How to have it both?

Well, you can’t!

Reality checks

godlike masculinity subliminal program banner

Just like I keep telling people in regards to marriage that you can’t have it all, but it’s still worth it, so it is for women with their choices. You can’t have the so-called true love, but still be out partying. Even worse. You can’t have true love with a guy, while you post sexy pics on Instagram. The latter still makes you lunge for that male attention. So you neglect working on your love towards your partner.

You cannot have the cake and eat it both. Just doesn’t work!

So we should teach women this very important distinction between the two things. As a woman, you need to be very careful of what you display and how you come off. Do you want to work towards proper love with one husband? The fairy-tale version of the prince? Then you need to stop putting half-naked, filtered pics of yourself on Instagram.

And if you do, don’t be surprised when the only thing a man sees, is how to fuck you and then next you right away.

Lessons for men

Guys, this is an important lesson for you as well. I know, your brain is trying to tell you that the nipple-dropping cleavage girl is probably wife-material because sex will be great. But this is your deepest, most primitive brain thinking. What you should be searching for is beauty. Like this:

A truly beautiful brunette young woman with hot eyes
True beauty has faults. It isn’t perfect. Which is what makes it perfect. You can see it in the eyes.

See, this girl doesn’t care about make-up, or her tits, or even made nails. She has freckles, and it’s fine. True beauty comes from within. She is in tune with herself, and she enjoys herself, her soul for being a woman. Not just her vagina.

And most importantly, look at the eyes. There is a sparkle in them. That my friend, is the soul. An alive soul. Compare with the picture from above. You clearly see the difference.

A wise man knows, the feminine is like nature itself. It is breathtaking, beautiful, fun to engage, and mysterious.

The conqueror

Obviously this was probably a selfie for social media. Of course. You prolly won’t find a woman in this day and age, that isn’t on Instagram. That’s okay, just be aware of what she posts there.

Understand what makes the difference between beauty and hotness.

More lessons for the ladies

And girls, just be aware that society is lying to you. You see all these plastic TV show hosts who literally put on a mask before they go on stage, and you think this is how you should be. But you’re wrong. They are all wrong. If you truly want a long-term relationship with real love, you need to be aware of what you radiate.

And I know you might be fighting this in your head, because society has conditioned you to believe the lies. I know this for a fact, those 1.2k replies to my tweet here weren’t in support.

This tweet got some attention. But not really positive. Because nobody got the message right.

Yes, of course you can wear whatever you want. But this doesn’t change the fact that it has an effect. If you like it or not. Just like I could complain about why as being a Nice Guy I don’t get sex from the wife. I do everything for her? Should be fine? But it isn’t. You can’t change other people, you can only change yourself.

Man and woman alike need to act upon their deepest biology. For it is what defines them. If they neglect it, they are never in tune with their soul.

The conqueror

So just like most men these days need to find their inner masculinity again, so do you need to find your inner femininity. You need to be fine with yourself. All you do on social media is searching for external validation. Attention. Trust me, one man can give you enough attention. True, real affirmative attention is what you really crave. Not the shallow version from Filtergram.

Know the reality of the beauty vs hotness divide, and live accordingly.

–Alexander Graves

Guys and girls, let me know in the comments below what you think of this. Has society been lying to us all? Did you all learn a lot about yourself?

Find Part II here: How we lie to our women about Sex. And Part III, how we lie to our women about family.

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About Alexander Graves

About Alexander Graves

Hey there! I'm Alexander Graves and I teach men how to live a life of happiness, abundance, and joy, without using weird techniques. Just by being your authentic self.