If you follow me, you probably also follow PathToManliness on Twitter and read his blog.
The man behind that account is called Ryan Felman and is a good friend of mine for some time now.
And while we all know what his blog is trying to do, we don’t really know who is PathToManliness? Who is running that show? And why?
So I figured I’d ask him a bunch of questions which will help remove the curtain of anonymity because he isn’t anonymous at all.
Why did you start PathToManliness?
“Every day I see society bashing men. I grew tired of standing by and doing nothing. I refuse to let the media and “manliness” magazines define masculinity. Which is why I write posts like the 7 Pillars of Masculinity. This is why I wrote the handbook for men who are lost. I am here to help men live more fulfilling lives by finding their mission.
The modern man is frustrated with modern society and has no role models. They try to fit in by being consumers and corporate monkeys. “It is only after we’ve lost everything, that we are free to do anything.” Men are providers by nature, and modern society has robbed us of our purpose.
This makes him fat, lazy, and unfulfilled. This used to describe me. I was floating aimlessly through life. After a wake-up call, I decided to get back in shape, start writing, and to get more involved with both my local community and the online community.”
What is your main goal with PathToManliness?
“My main goal for PathToManliness is to inspire young men to live better lives, to realize that they aren’t alone even if Hollywood, Men’s magazines, and the media are abandoning them. The greatest problem in Western Civilization is the lack of positive male role models. In many cases, boys grow up without a father or a bad example of one.
I want to help men avoid the mistakes I made. PTM is a lighthouse for men who feel lost. Most men want to become better men but they feel isolated and confused. They need brotherhood and advice. PTM offers that to those who are looking for a better path.”
What gets you up every day?
“Firstly my sons. They bring me joy. And they need me. I want them to be better than me and everything I do is in some way motivated toward helping them become strong and good men.
And I want to leave a legacy. I don’t need fame or fortune. But I need to know that the time I spent here mattered. It’s part of the reason I write so much. I know that no matter what happens to me, my books and writings will live on and my sons will always have that resource available to them. “
How do you see your average follower?
“When I write, I write as if I’m writing to my younger self. In my 20s, I spent so much time reading online how to dress better, how to get stronger, how to meet girls. I’m taking the best advice I read and experience I’ve learned and giving it to my younger self.
I assume most of my readers are similar to me in my youth. They’re hungry for money. They want to be strong. They want to meet a nice girl or two…”
How do you think your average follower sees you?
“Most seem to see me as a bit more relatable than many who write online. I’ve always been the kind of guy who will strike up a conversation with anyone. At the same time, many aspire to reach the level that I’ve worked so hard to get to. I don’t show off cars or anything like that, but its no secret I’ve found success in many areas of my life. I’m not where I want to be but I’ve come a long way on my path. “
What is your stance on marriage?
“If it works for you, great. I don’t see what marriage offers a high-value man. Society will pressure young men into getting married because its the so-called “right thing to do.” But so far no one has been able to explain what benefits it offers a successful man.
All the benefits of marriage favor the woman or are available to a couple in a committed relationship. There’s no real reason to risk half your stuff plus the legal fees and significant court time when no fault divorce is an option. “
Will you ever get married again?
“If Carrie Underwood asked really nicely, I’d consider it. “
How do you think of it on a societal scale?
“Marriage is a great thing for society at large and it leads to better social stability on a macro level. On paper it’s great. I don’t really have any problems with marriage. Divorce is the problem. Family courts are a circus. The lawyers end up with most of the money. And alimony runs counter to any idea of equality. I have no issue with child support though, even though there is rampant abuse of how the money is spent. “
What is your biggest concern with the United States currently?
“The lack of positive role male role models. This is a complicated issue that many take personally. Men will say they want to be a part of their kids’ lives but their ex-wife won’t let them spend time with their own kids. Women will say that most men are dead beats that won’t spend a dollar or an hour with their own kids.
They’re both right. The destruction of the nuclear family and Western values has done unprecedented damage to the social stability of society on a grand scale. Women are often encouraged through slut culture to live it up through their 20s when their prospects for marriage are the best. Men engage in behavior that can lead to many women becoming jaded and frustrated. And Hollywood and the media encourage debauchery en masse.
Everyone wants to go to work and no one wants to raise the kids, so we end up with the state (school or daycare) instilling the majority of social values on future generations. One of the greatest legacies you can instill on the future is to raise your own children with your own values and beliefs. Who wouldn’t want to do that?”
What is your ideal dream scenario for your own life?
“I’m pretty content where I’m at in my current life. I live in the mountains and have access to running trails, water and much more outdoorsy activities. I’d like to one day get into racing cars on the track and working on my own cars. Time is always the enemy here though. But it’s important to keep trying new things. “
Do you regret things?
“No. Don’t get me wrong. There’s been multiple times where I wish I didn’t get married. I dated a lot of nice girls and I married the one with the most red flags. But it led to where I am today. Had I not married her, I probably wouldn’t be a father. I wouldn’t have created Path To Manliness. I might not have started running Spartan Races and really pushing myself.
Sometimes you need to fail, to become something greater. “
What is your personal mindset on male love? (Do you think it’s deep, shallow, heavier than the female counterpart or not?)
“Like a bromance? Haha. I think brotherhood is essential. The friends I have help motivate me. They call me out on my bullshit. I don’t know where I’d be without my male friends.
Everyone will have different opinions of this, but men can forge powerful connections with one another. Especially if they’ve struggled together. Military service. Running Spartan Races together. Even playing in a recreational sports league can lead to a strong connection. Men need other men.”
Name 3 very important traits you want your kid(s) to develop
“Resilience. They are going to fail, and I want them to have a healthy relationship with failure.
Honor. They need to be able to look at the man in the mirror with self respect.
Strength. I want them to be strong. Physically, mentally and emotionally.
These three traits will carry them far in life. “
Name 3 very important traits the perfect wife should have for you
“She needs to be a good mother. Most young men don’t think about this. Everything changes when you first hold your son or daughter. Suddenly it’s more important that your wife will teach your kid to become a strong, smart, and good person. And this means you need to agree with your wife on how you will raise your kids. This is priority number one. Even if you don’t know it yet.
You also need to be able to trust your wife with your finances, your kids, and your life. And marry someone who you still want to hang with after the fun in the bedroom. It’s easy to connect sexually. What’s more difficult is finding a woman that you enjoy your Saturdays with. “
How did you conquer your worst habit?
“I used to be introverted and anti-social. As a teen, I didn’t want to go to parties or events. I was content to stay in and play video games or hang with 2 or 3 friends. I wasn’t adventurous and my life was fine but kinda quiet.
Then I watched the movie Yes Man. Yeah, the goofy Rom Com with Jim Carey. I began to live my life under the Yes Man Philosophy and everything changed. Almost immediately. Things that sounds uninteresting or hard, I said yes to. Suddenly my life became fascinating and so many doors opened up. My friends would call me more because they knew that “Ryan will definitely be interested.”
“Hey, you’re probably hungover but want to go pick up a car in Cincinnati?” I was but I had a blast at Hoffbrauhaus while a bunch of foreigners got drunk and watched Soccer at 10AM.
“Want to volunteer your Friday Night at the Indiana State Fair working a booth?” Yes. And I ended up meeting a smoking hot blonde who I dated for about a year.
“Want to buy my 20 year old Jeep Wrangler and drive it back 900 miles to your house?” Hell yes! This wound up being one of the best road trips of my life.
When you start saying yes to life, you open up doors to all sorts of adventures and opportunities. Do some end up being duds? Of course. But when the alternative is staying in and watching Netflix or playing Call of Duty, (I don’t game much and don’t know what the kids are playing) its easy to create better memories by taking a chance.”
Founder of PathToManliness
Loved to ask these questions. I hope it helped you guys get a glimpse into the mind of this great man.
And especially, read his books which you can find below:
The Warrior’s Mindset
His second book which dove way deeper into the spiritual aspect of being a man. Why are you on this Earth, what is your purpose, and how to unleash your ancient warrior spirit in modern day times.
Reclaim Your Manhood
His first book, which was a big propellant which got me on my path to selfconquering. He wrote this book to his younger self, and it’s been a bestseller since it resonates with many young men.