What is masculinity? The quick answer is to say a man. However, I believe it goes much deeper than that. Just because you are a male does not make you masculine. Females can be masculine also, especially when there is no masculine leader to keep the female in check. Think about that for a moment, nature makes sure that there is a balance even if it is a warped one.
Masculinity should be balanced by femininity, which will lead each to be better portrayed. Now I am not saying a man should exhibit both of these traits. This will lead to a man being weaker in mind. Men should be working to bring the masculine nature to the forefront in everything he does. Leave femininity to women.
To define masculinity, I think you need to look at the virtues of a man being masculine. Many of these virtues’ men must figure out for themself. We want a black and white answer by ignoring the gray areas in between. These gray areas are what make us different from each other in how to define them.
Being honorable is a starting point in masculinity. This is something that is developed when you are young. Being passed down by your father, uncles, men, and with these figures are not there to guide you in the ways of honor, it leaves holes in your armor for letting weakness creep in.
This is very prevalent today with men many years into adulthood still trying to define or learn honor. For there was no one to guide them or those that did have a warped sense of honor themselves.
Honor is not bound to any class of man; it does not care how much money you have. It is not gauged by materialism and societal hierarchy.
Honor is something every man can have and carry with them. It cannot be taken away or stolen. Even when others besmirch it and try to disgrace you, you will know if you kept to your code of honor or not.
Work to make your body strong and able to defend and attack when a need arises. Others should be able to take strength from the outward appearance of your body during a crisis. Know that you will be capable. It will also give you an air of authority as you pass through your daily life. Other men can quickly access you by the very way you stand and hold yourself.
Do not rely on your body alone for strength. You must also strengthen your mind. What is the use of having a sturdy frame and presence if you do not have a sharp mind to control it?
A weak mind with a strong body often leads to animalistic behaviors not becoming of a man. Men should tap into their primal barbaric side while keeping conscious of being a man.
It will give a man the time and tools necessary to strengthen his spirit with a healthy body and mind, which will carry him through the day and balance his mind and body. Guiding your honor, making sure you are leading, and your integrity is in check.
You need to develop and strengthen your masculinity as you age from a boy to a man. You will learn to lead from the reference of honor and strength as a man. Which is different from how women lead. Women typically lead from the perspective of nurturing and growth.
Genuinely feminine women will always seek out and wish to follow masculinity. Catch that: I did not say, masculine man, though I would say feminine women would prefer a manly man. When they are lacking a masculine man, they will follow a masculine woman.
You must lead in your relationships and be ready to step into the role of leader at a moment’s notice. For there are times that following is the correct answer along with getting out of the way.
Married? Have children? Then you have the yoke of leadership. To deny this and not lead, you are letting your family down. Be the leader they need.
Men, if you wish to be genuinely masculine, then you must have a code to live by. This is your code that you check your actions against. It should be quite firm with certain things being unmovable.
Now, as you grow older and wiser, you will start to see things in a different light through life experience. This will help to shape your code. Making small adjustments as you become learned in the ways of man.
Having this code will help you with integrity checks on yourself, and this is what matters.
Having this system of checks will help you develop friendships with those with similar codes you will gravitate to. These friendships work to strengthen each other every aspect of life and hold one accountable for their actions.
Also, two men can both be honorable yet have different codes they live by. Respect is given even when disagreements arise in what one thinks. This is in the natural order of things; this difference is what makes us who we are, both good and bad.
Many of my friends know my stance on saying sorry all the time. The word is used for an apology. If men would stop being apologetic for everything, they will see tremendous growth in their life in all the other areas. There is a time for apologies, and I recognized that.
Never is there a time to apologize for being a masculine man.
Do you want an aura of masculinity? Then walk through the world unapologetically as you own it. At home, at work, a walk in the park, going to the store, hanging with friends, always and I mean always be true to yourself.
Hold to your honor, be strong in all areas of your life, lead those that follow you, check your integrity often, and not once apologize for any of these traits that lead you to be the best version of you.
Development and Growth
Some men are blessed with those to teach and show them the way to be a masculine man. Others had no male influence in their lives and had what masculinity they did have beaten out them when they were young.
Unfortunately, men can lose their way along the path of life, giving up or passing off responsibility to another and not being true to themselves. This leads down a dangerous path. That one day, you wake up and look back and go where did it go wrong.
Weak men, you have no excuse either, you can make a choice to change. For deep-down, your inner barbarian is talking to you, it is there wanting out.
Start in one area of your life, and as you develop, let that growth strengthen the other areas of your life.
I do not believe anyone can simply answer what masculinity is; it is ongoing learning and strengthening, and the building blocks I talked about above.
This was a guest post by our good friend Nathan from barbarianrhetoric.com. Head over to his website and find more great pieces about masculinity and release your inner barbarian!