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The First Successful Year of SELFCONQUERING

When I started this blog a year ago, I never thought it would be that successful within just one year.

It seems like people are in desperate need of a true and harsh language about reality. And especially, the comforting lies they tell themselves.

Let me take you on a quick tour of how I set up SELFCONQUERING, what the mission was and is, and what you can learn from it about starting a business.


sq brand small black

Any business, movement, and message evolves along the path.

Change is natural, healthy, and necessary.

When I started SELFCONQUERING, I had already started about 10 other endeavors prior. I sold websites, I dove into copywriting, I created logos, I was into cryptocurrencies, wrote a book about it, started a crypto blog.

I started a lot of things which is one of the lessons I keep telling men: start something.

You have to start somewhere. Nobody has all the information when starting out. You learn along the way.

It was the same with SELFCONQUERING. Looking back, I should’ve done a lot of things differently. Or should I?

old selfconquering logo
SELFCONQUERING had humble beginnings.

The egg or chicken question. If I had done it differently, would I have made all the mistakes and learned from them? Would it have become that successful?

For example, initially, I mostly talked about the dark realities of relationships. The Red Pill when this was still a legit movement. This drew in a bunch of people because fixing your own relationship is a big part of your happiness.

Now I talk more generally about these topics. The dark world itself, society, your soul, your manliness, and your mindset. While women are a big part of a man’s life, my focus has shifted from “smash pussy” to “create greatness” in all regards.

The question remains, was it necessary to get a first following and build upon that? Personally, I think so, yes. You need something to be unique that is also controversial.

When your message changes a bit, you will lose followers. This is a natural process. As you progress from a weak provider to a successful ruler, versed in the dark realities of nature, you will lose a lot of friends and peers.

Running SELFCONQUERING was not different in any regard.

What we achieved so far

It started with just me writing a bunch of blog articles about my own marriage, my own shortcomings, and overcoming myself.

Now, it is a business.

In the first year, SELFCONQUERING 

  • has made over $11,000 in revenue
  • sold over 500 copies of books
  • created over 21 million Twitter impressions and close to 15,000 followers
  • changed hundreds of lives
Selfconquering gumroad revenue for 2020
The bulk of the revenue came from selling and affiliating via Gumroad.
Amazon book sales selfconquering
Over 300 books sold in the last three months. The bulk of it being The Unchained Man.

A truly remarkable success for something that just spawned out of my personal shortcomings, from someone whose native language is not English and who had to learn how to write properly first.

On top of that, SELFCONQUERING isn’t a one-man-show anymore. All of you that follow me and what I do are part of it, but we now also have a dedicated professional for SEO, copywriting, and marketing.

selfconquering twitter impressions
Over 5 million impressions in 90 days. The Twitter account exploded massively.

Along with other great gentlemen that helped me along the path to set up certain things and to overcome obstacles.

One important lesson I learned is this: Don’t try to conquer the world alone. Find brothers that help you along the path. This has been a huge gamechanger for me and the success of the brand.


alexander graves transformation years
While I wanted to make money, the idea for SELFCONQUERING really came from my own progress.

Most blogs initially start out as an idea and then they get monetized later. From the get-go, I had making money in mind. Shallow, right? No. I am a brutally honest person. People call you a sellout for trying to make money off of something you spend years on. Which is nothing but projection because they have nothing that creates them revenue and is also fun.

A lesson I learned very early:

Develop a thick skin and don’t care what anyone thinks.

At the time, I was watching a lot of Jordan Petersons clips on Youtube. And his mindset and view on the world was the starting point for my personal journey. He also has a program that’s called self-authoring which I bought myself and it helped me a lot. This paired with a warrior theme, I created SELFCONQUERING.

At this point, it is much more than a blog to make money from. It is my purpose. My meaning in life. I didn’t know at the time that it would turn out to become this thing near and dear to my heart.

If all the revenue would dry out right now, I would still be writing and creating for SELFCONQUERING.

You just have to start something and see it develop into beauty.

Before it even launched on January 1st, 2020, I already moved away from the money goal in my mind. I kept telling myself the comforting lie that I just want to make money with it. However, I had too much fun writing these articles and triggering people on Twitter.

Maybe my subconscious already sent messages to me what this should become at some point and I just didn’t realize it.

How it started

godlike masculinity subliminal program banner

I wanted SELFCONQUERING to launch with a bang. For this, I needed enough content on the blog. I didn’t launch it before I had 40 articles written. About 50,000 words were already silently waiting on the blog to be unleashed onto the real world.

It was a risk.

I spent months writing these articles and didn’t know if anyone would even give the slightest fuck about it. I had about 2,000 Twitter followers from my old account at that time. But they followed me for different reasons (crypto) so they most likely wouldn’t be bothered.

Looking back I think it was the right decision. Some people enjoyed the first article I linked on Twitter and dove deep into the others that were connected to it.

Immediately I got great feedback and responses. Looking back this fascinates me because my writing was sluggish, profane, and simple.

A lesson I learned later, writing simple is good because everyone understands it. But most importantly:

People care much more about the content and the message than how it is presented.

Presentation is a big part once you made your first successes. If you want to be deemed an established brand and create trust, then the way you present it becomes important. But the core of any success is always the content. The product itself.

Marketing can only go so far. If the product is a letdown, people will be turned off pretty quickly.

How to have a successful blog like I do?

I knew that blogging is far from being dead, but trying to figure it out yourself is pretty stupid and a waste of time.

Why not use a system someone else already uses successfully and mimic it?

Your impostor syndrome will most likely stop you from doing it, but it’s a mistake. You don’t copy other people’s blogs, you just use their system to set it up.

Share your soul

Another important lesson I learned early is that you need to share your soul with people.

Creating anything is always a process of sharing yourself.

If you write a book, you give a part of yourself out into the world to be judged by anyone. This is also a big reason why people are afraid to do it.

Don’t be fooled by your own mind.

Do not make up hate or possibilities of negative outcomes before anything even happens. Go out and try it. See what reality brings. Be ruthless and determined. Fear exists only in your mind.

People need something and someone to latch onto. I started SELFCONQUERING anonymous, but I had the biggest success since I put my face and myself out there.

alexander graves
SELFCONQUERING started as an anonymous brand. But I never truly enjoyed hiding behind a logo.

I was afraid of the backlash I might receive if my face is aligned with sexism and the Red Pill. I eradicated this weakness with brutal determination.

Definite Detachment as I explore in The Unchained Man is a hallmark of any successful man. You will get flack either way. If you’re anon or not, hate will be in your Inbox. Especially if you have a controversial topic. But if you put your face out there, people can relate to you better. Because you are a human. You really exist.

And you will be much more open about the things you put out there. Because in the end, everyone knows you already.

However, not everyone is made for the spotlight and I understand the idea of “being rich without anyone knowing.” I guess it depends on what kind of a man you are. I was always seeking the spotlight. The glory of success and being known for it.

Your choice.

A change in tone

When I started SELFCONQUERING, I mostly talked about sex in a marital context and the dark realities of the feminine and masculine interactions. Basically, the Red Pill.

For this, I also used a lot of explicit imagery on my blog.

I did this because I thought it would draw in more men to click on the links and get the message. In other words, sex sells.

However, I did not realize what kind of a man this attracts. The one still heavily influenced by boobs.

I didn’t want to further sexualize an oversexualized society. Which is why I removed all of the explicit images soon and went into the direction of classy beauty.

Groom smoking cigar with wife in the background
The switch from sexualized images to classy beauty was a healthy decision.

A lesson I learned there. The law of attraction. What you put out is exactly what you will receive.

It is the same with your products.

If you give out everything for free, you will attract freeloaders. If you underprice your products, you will attract cheap people.

This change in tone was necessary for a new direction of more sophistication, and moving towards men who are actually determined to change something in their life. As opposed to a lot of guys I got in the beginning who are just bitter about the feminine nature and were seeking reinforcement of their bitterness and mental masturbation.


I have no time for petty bullshit, I want to change reality and the realities of people. This is also why I have kicked people out of my group and coaching in the past.

There are enough places out there where you can talk about things. SELFCONQUERING is for men who DO.

Where is SELFCONQUERING heading now?

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We’re on a march to something great. SELFCONQUERING will keep RISING.

The first year was a blistering success. Yet, I made some mistakes along the path, had hurdles to overcome, and letdowns to deal with.

It is part of any success. It’s always a bumpy road, especially in the beginning.

What I noticed is that I strayed offtopic for a while. Now that I am back talking about dark masculinity and the dark realities of life, many people have reached out saying they are glad I talk about these topics again.

Great reinforcement to what I should be doing.

I said in the beginning that the message evolves just like nature. That is correct, but the core idea of the movement cannot. You can always add things to it. For example, I will be talking about parenting and how a strong patriarch deals with his kids in the future. Simply, because I am a father now myself.

However, if I were to suddenly talk solely about making money online, people would be confused and leave. If I wanted to do that, I’d be much better off starting a completely new brand.

SELFCONQUERING is about masculinity, mindset, and the dark reality of life. How to conquer yourself, how to uncover the power within you, and make good use of it.

This is who I am, and this is what I will be talking about. 

I will add a post about making money or a seemingly unrelated topic here and there. But in the end, this is the core message of SELFCONQUERING and the message that drives me the most.

What is coming to SELFCONQUERING?

Going forward, I will do much more direct 1:1 coaching for mindset, masculinity, and uncovering your dark side. So far, the coaching has been tremendously successful and it helped a ton of men.

While it uses a lot of my time, I truly enjoy doing it. Seeing men evolve from shackled drones of society to free, successful men is a beauty to behold.

soul conquering coaching
I will proceed to work more directly with my audience via groups and coaching.

I will also keep writing books. My latest book the Unchained Man has been a blistering success, storming the #1 spot in at least four categories the first day, which propels me to keep doing it.

However, the dark forces of the world are displaying their power recently. Since the sitting president of the United States got banned on pretty much all platforms, antifragility is an important part going forward.

I will keep posting mostly on Twitter, but I have created an account on Gab. I will also be much more active on Instagram, and the Red Smoke Podcast on Youtube will naturally open up a new direction.

However, due to the Damocles sword of censorship hanging above everyone’s heads, I decided to create a Telegram Channel where I share my uncensored thoughts and Tweet drafts I cannot share on the public platforms. It’s a free channel, you can join here.

The Email list is always the best way to get my thoughts and get in contact with me. If you buy any of my products, you will automatically be added, but you can also sign up for free on the homepage here.

Long-term plans for SELFCONQUERING

SELFCONQUERING is here to stay! I have huge plans for this brand.

Naturally, I am increasing traffic and thus spread the message even further. One of my biggest goals is to be featured on the Joe Rogan Podcast at some point, as well as holding public speeches on live events. So you can finally meet with me in person!

There are also other plans which I cannot share here, but rest assured that there is a lot to come in the future.

However, no matter what direction I go and what will be happening. I will always keep writing. Blog posts, books, Tweets. You will always find my dark, weird, and hopefully helpful thoughts in written form.

Things I would do differently now

I get asked this a lot. As I outlined in the beginning, I feel like all the failures and mistakes were necessary lessons to get the brand to where it is now. And we only just started!

Many more mistakes to come.

Start on a clean slate

What I would truly do differently is starting a new Twitter account, instead of using my old one.

It had 2,000 followers, so I thought I use that to propel the message. If anything, this only made it more difficult because a 2k follower account with zero engagement on his posts is more a repellant than anything else.

Start your social media on a clean slate and build from there. If your message truly catches people, you’ll grow faster than you think.

Choose your affiliate products wisely

When I started out, I was hunting the bucks. For this, I affiliated pretty much for any product that came by and made money.

Big mistake!

If you constantly affiliate for a different product, you alienate your followers to your message. What are you really about?

Affiliate marketing is not the issue. The issue is affiliating for products that don’t align with your message. Since then, I ditched a lot of products I once tried to sell. I am very picky now, so whoever is mentioned in my recommendations, congratulations! Great stuff!

Stick with one product method for a while

I started out writing books, then I did a video course, then I did coaching, then I did books again.

This incongruence ruins your quality. I have spread myself too thin because I am the kind of person who is always quick on new exciting things. I just wanted to do it all.

Trust me when I say you, you are better off choosing one thing and building a bunch of products on that. For me, I should’ve kept writing books from the get-go. Once this is established, you can try other things, absolutely. In the beginning, however, focus is of utmost importance.

It is the same for the platform you sell on (Gumroad, Amazon, teachable, etc) as well as your Social Media. I tried to do Youtube videos and grow Twitter, write blog posts, books, all at once.

You only have so much time in a day. Grow one platform first until it runs semi-automated. Then the next. Now that my Twitter is set up, I will be growing Instagram and Youtube. Again, focus is the key.


I made a ton of mistakes but still managed to make this brand profitable. Which is a lesson on its own.

SELFCONQUERING has been a blinding success within that first year. For my first real “business” and endeavor I DECIDED to put all my effort in, it worked out tremendously. Was it luck?

No. I think anything that becomes your purpose and you put in the relentless effort, be consistent and determined to make it work, will eventually work out. It might take longer. But I’ve also seen blogs grow bigger way quicker.

In the end, it comes down to how much you really want it.

And I will keep working relentlessly and with brutal determination to make this even bigger, help even more men to develop their dark side, and become successful in life.

The reach will expand further, and I will keep helping men all over the world.

We only just started, friends.

Or as someone once said, “We’re on top of the mountain, but we’re only halfway there.”

I let Charles Bukowski end this fantastic first year with a mindset lesson. This clip and the words within were a reason for the blistering success. 

Go all the way.

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Who Is Alexander?

I am a Dad, sharing his experiences and solutions to Escape the 9-5 Slavery via Online Business and Subliminal Messaging.

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