What is Dark Masculinity?

Updated 2023.

Dark masculinity is a facet of the very complex thing called heteronormative cisgendered patriarch. Also called “man.”

It is NOT toxic masculinity. That is a term created to deceive you and make you an unhappy man, living in silent desperation. Dark masculinity is a part of you that you have been neglecting for long. And the exact reason why you aren’t happy.

I will tell you what it really is and why none of it is really “dark.”

(I actually don’t like that term… but w/e)

Men are from Mars

Mars roman god of war
The Roman God of War and Masculinity: Mars.

In Roman mythology, Mars was the God of War and Masculinity.

Notice something? War, Masculinity, and God mentioned in one sentence.

He is the one who gave men the masculine symbol ♂️

I can already see the neurons activating in your brain. The very definition of masculinity is war. You get that feeling that you enjoy being godlike. Creating, ruling, dominating. You like war, be it fighting physically or fighting teams in sports, in videogames and the like. You like war movies because it features “real” men.

STOP.

Before we go any further with this, you have to realize one thing: This is Roman Mythology. Ancient wisdom. And in the past, women weren’t even allowed to be educated or talk amongst men. In other words, by force, men put themselves above their counterpart.

Which I think is true weakness.

However, we cannot deny millennia of living like this. Men and women. Especially since our subconscious mind remembers out past lives, we learned and discovered that this does, in fact, work. Of course, war works. But it’s not a healthy way to go about what you want.

Everyone, men and women, rather live in peace than in war times.

Everyone who ever been in a war will tell you the same.

Why society calls it dark masculinity

alexander graves smoking cigar
Society stigmatised parts of your masculinity.

Now, being a war machine, and being used to power and control over others over millennia left an imprint within you.

You like to lead people. Rule over them. Tell them what to do. All of it results in one thing: ruthless power.

Mankind has always fought over power. Mostly because they didn’t understand how to gain REAL power, but that’s a different topic.

This is how wars started, families were built or torn down, civilizations created and razed. This is why you want a 700 horsepower Lamborghini. This is why men do the Rodeo. To control something so powerful it can kill you.

It is this lust to control the uncontrollable.

It resigns within any man.

And at the same time it is the reason for your misery. Because as much as you strive for control, it is an illusion.

It yields the feeling of greatness. This drive for power is so strong that we do everything to gain it. Despite the evidence, it might kill us. This is why men of the past walked into the unknown and took lands. To overpower.

This is why you want a submissive woman. To overpower her.

You try to gain control over someone because you haven’t faced the real truth yet: The reason other people don’t do what you want is because you don’t control yourself.

Real power is gained via self-control. Leading by example.
Fake power is gained by controlling others.

And this is what is considered “dark.”

In Own Your Shit, Make Her Submit, I explore this topic deeper. The feminine works on emotions and empathy (mostly). A man going to war is not empathetic. He is ruthless and brutally determined.

But these days, we realized how outdated this all is. Nostradamus also mentioned in this book how there will be a time where the feminine will be goddesses again. Now, men rule everything. But we will come to a place where both work in tandem and are equal. Not the “equality” that is pushed these days.

But because women are raising in self-control, power over their own life, etc., we realized how pointless it is to start a war over nothing or childish insecurities (let’s be honest, the whole political spectrum is a conglomerate of childish men battling who has more insecurities).

So what is this dark masculinity within you that wants to do these things?

It is what we call the Shadow (more here).

Turning men into women

Old man smoking a cigar indoors. Mafia concept. Stylish male in his cabinet. Bearded man.
This kind of traditional man is not sought out by our corrupt society.

Society told you for years that men and women are the same and that society created the genders. A social construct. Therefore, you can be genderfluid or genderless.

No, you can’t.

While women can embody masculine traits, and men can embody feminine traits, they are still that. The respective traits of said sex.

Some men are more feminine, some women are more masculine, yes.

But the more you try to alleviate the polarity between the genders, the more you lose the tension. Therefore, you will have sexless marriages and you lose everything that is exciting about dealing with the other gender.

While this might not have been the goal of the people who coined the term “toxic masculinity,” it is the result. Feminized men don’t stand up for what is right.

They don’t fight for what is right. They don’t face their own wives when they breach their boundaries. They don’t even discipline their kids (before anyone gets mad, you can discipline them without physical or emotional abuse). They have no spine. No grit.

Because they fell for the veils of deception that anything within their masculinity is bad, dark, or toxic.

As a result, the opposites are no longer opposite. The sexes came closer together and lost their tension, turning them into boring relationships that just drag along.

It is for you to figure out your masculine AND feminine side, your dark AND your light side, as well as figure out what resides in your woman.

Dark masculine traits

godlike masculinity subliminal program banner
Men of the past embodied a lot of dark masculine traits. That’s what made them successful.

Things a “dark masculine” man likes to do:

  • Fight/War
  • Have sex
  • Destroy societies and build them up anew
  • Create beauty
  • Control himself and his urges
  • Live completely independent, not bound to anyone or anything

THIS is your Dark Side. The Red Pill will tell you that you need to become that man to get everything you want.

Reality is, that you need to be both. You need to INTEGRATE your dark side, understand it, but also be a positive leader.

Carl Jung famously said, “a tree cannot reach to heaven until his roots reach down to hell.”

So dark masculinity means you accept these traits within yourself. You understand what triggers them, and to some extent (for example in bed) you can let them loose in a controlled manner.

But if you don’t accept and acknowledge these traits within you, they will control your actions (porn, for example, violence, resentment, etc).

Thus, without your dark masculinity integrated, you will never be your true self.

What society taught you about dark masculinity

Naturally, what you learned in society is covered in veils of deception and thus irrelevant. And especially when it comes to toxic masculinity or dark masculinity, it is trenched in projection, fear, and power grabs.

Here is what society considers a dark masculine man:

  • Hits women and children
  • Is a tyrant
  • Likes to kill or punch people
  • Destroys everything out of spite
  • Abuses and manipulates people to his own benefit

The last one is ironic since that is exactly what the media does, more on that later.

Society will picture you as a blood-seeking berserk once you revel in your darker side. The truth is that the dark side of your manliness solely reveals tools for power. But as you know, with great power comes great responsibility. This is why most men using the Red Pill Mindset become Children with Dynamite. Abusing that knowledge.

Why men like threesomes

Couple in bed man cheating on phone
Why you always have this drive to have another woman…

Do you want to have threesomes? I know you do because the heavy amount of porn clips of that scenario are evidence.

As much as I hate porn, the reality is that it shows people’s deepest desires. When nobody is watching (read: judging) you can explore your sexuality fully.

Back then I was going on how successful men lay a lot of hot women and all that. But I wasn’t realizing how childish this actually is and they just abuse their power and social status for shallow external validation. I made a video about why you SHOULDN’T want threesomes. Check it out:

The Divine Man

The reason men don’t go for threesomes and laying as many women as possible anymore is not just the reduced T-Levels. It is because they strive for higher things than just fleeting pleasure of getting their dicks wet.

They understand their basic drives, their dark nature. They learned to integrate that part of evolution and feed that beast every now and then. With caveman sex with their wife for example.

But generally, they’re not interested in wet caves all the time. They are interested in CHANGE. On a large scale.

The price of power

maxresdefault
Tywin Lannisters Darkhold of Ruling with the Iron Fist eventually got him shot by his own son.

Any sort of power inevitably comes with a portion of fear for the powerless.

This is natural because the more powerful part has the means to do good or bad things to the weaker part. He can elicit control to his own will. The mark of a powerful leader.

Fear is a tool that has been used for decades by the media to control you. The principle is exactly the same. The Media tells you a harmless virus will kill all of humanity and thus they direct your decisions and actions.

If you apply fear onto your wife that you might leave her if she doesn’t comply, you can control her decisions. Also called “dread” in the context of relationships.

Through fear, you can control others. But this is again, your primal side. And the cost of ruling with the Iron Fist is that the people in question HAVE to do what you want. They don’t necessarily WANT to.

Ask yourself, do you want your wife to give you a blowjob because she HAS to, or because she WANTS to?

REAL power is gained by being such a great man, succeeding on all realms, that people WILLINGLY submit to you.

Accept the brutal reality in this truth. Society is using fear to control you. You don’t willingly do what society tells you to do. Or how to be as a man. You do it because you HAVE to, otherwise you face a lot of shit.

If a man can’t even leave a bad marriage out of fear over the repercussions (alimony, etc) he won’t stand up against the government.

What to do With Your Dark Masculinity?

So should you strive to be bad? Or be good? Be both at certain times?

Yes.

You need to integrate your Shadow.

Much like you want your wife to be a good, cute, bubbly, feminine mother to your children, and nice wife to you, but also want her to be a poledancing, stripping girl in the bedroom, but also to be sensual and revel in your emotions in lovemaking sometimes.

So you need to be both.

A good man, a leader, a Nice Guy even. BUT, you need boundaries. You don’t take shit from everyone. You make your needs clear and voice them. Not forcing them to do anything. Just saying what you like.

THEY need to have agency to decide themselves if they give you what you want.

But since you will be such a great man, they will do it anyway.

How to unleash your Dark Masculinity?

handsome man hunting with dog
Be Your Unapologetic Self

Journal, meditate, sit with yourself. Explore your darker side instead of shying away from it. Ask yourself these questions:

  • What kind of women do you like when nobody is judging (like in porn)
  • What kind of sex do you like when nobody is judging (like in porn…)
  • What kind of activities would you like to do?
  • How would you like to live your life every day?
  • How would you like other people to engage with you?

Now here’s a caveat: depending how much people walked over you so far, the answers might be full of resentment. This is fine, let the emotion go. Get it out.

This MP3 File will also help you heal all that (and it’s free): Love Bomb Subliminal Program

You will need to overcome yourself and limiting beliefs in your head. But most importantly, you have to mentally prepare for the backlash you will receive. You have to anticipate it, so it doesn’t come as a surprise.

Preparation.

After that, it comes down to regulating your hormones and engaging in traditional masculine activities I listed below.

The best way to understand and LIVE the dark side is by acting it out, bouncing it back and forth with other men.

Other than that, here are the important steps:

  • Increase Testosterone
    Testosterone is the manliness hormone and has been suppressed for decades. Soy, sugar, and estrogen-rich tap water reduce your manliness hormone. The logical fix to this is increasing it by working out, eating healthy, and supplementing.
  • Become comfortable with Tension
    So far, you’ve avoided tension (fights, speaking your mind, rocking the boat) as much as possible. This is why people walk over you. Learn to revel in tension. Leave tough words hanging in the room. Enjoy the feeling. It is part of your masculinity.
  • Discard guilt
    A man who revels in his dark masculinity is not guilty about anything. If you want to come on her face, accept this dark nature of yours. Accept your fetishes. This is who you are and what you want. The only judgment that counts is your own.
  • Indulge in a Divine Purpose to become independent
    This is important so you are free of external validation. People will inevitably talk shit over your newfound self. As long as you are controlled by what other people think of you, you cannot independently do what you want. You have to be willing to throw it all (and everyone close) away if it doesn’t fit your new self.
  • Act on gut feeling
    If you act on gut feeling, you act out your soul. The result is that you act from your masculine core instead of your consciousness which has been redirected by indoctrinations.
    A simple example would be in sex. If you ravage your girl like you would want to do it, instead of trying to please her. Paradoxically, both of you will enjoy that more.
  • Get a Masculinity Subliminal Program
    Program your reality. Or be programmed by society. Your choice. I am all for the former. Run GODLIKE MASCULINITY. I do, as well. Super powerful!
godlike masculinity subliminal program banner

Conclusion

Become a powerful leader by not being afraid of your dark side, but INTEGRATING it into your very being.

However, those masculine traits don’t decide between you being a tyrant or a great leader. They just help you to lead.

If you rule with an Iron fist or lead by example is up to you.

Share this post

5-Minute CONQUEST.

Enter your Name and primary email below, and click the button to get my free UNSTUCK Your Life Notion Template and join the community of FAST Conquerors.

Except an email from alex[at]selfconquering.com

About Alexander Graves

About Alexander Graves

Hey there! I'm Alexander Graves and I teach men how to live a life of happiness, abundance, and joy, without using weird techniques. Just by being your authentic self.