When the China Virus hit the world, I saw this lady on Twitter who tweeted that the quarantine made her realize she has no hobbies other than partying and spending money.
And how it was pathetic (I agree).
400,000 likes on that tweet. And in the comments, people are saying they wish they could like it a million times to tell her how right she is. Completely oblivious to the underlying issue.
And how sad that actually is. And pathetic.
That she tries so hard to avoid healthy boredom.
And I am aware that I am insulting the majority of people by saying that.
But it is true, more so with women, but also a lot of men have no hobbies to speak of.
Consumerism is not a hobby.
Other than their corporate work-life and literally slaving away all week to finally be “free” on the weekends to miss half of it because they were shitfaced drunk, they don’t have anything to strive for.
A pandemic showed people their true faces
When the quarantine for this virus hit, two weeks in, people died mentally. And it killed me to see this.
They are bored and wasting time. But it’s the wrong kind of boredom. And that’s where we get into the story of this post.
More people need to be bored.
What do I mean by that?
People forgot what it’s like to be bored. And being bored is necessary to being creative. Finding solutions, reflecting on your actions. See where I am going with this?
Modern man (and woman) jumps from notification to the next. From one job to the second, from one activity to the other. And while man is meant to take action instead of constantly talking, you do need time to reflect on what you’re doing at all.
I see so many people, especially younglings, just doing things to not be bored. “I am bored, let’s do something.” Why? Why not use that moment to watch the sun set on the horizon?
Why not use that moment to reflect on the party last weekend where you got shitfaced drunk, woke up next to a dumpster, freezing cold, which ruined the whole upcoming week where you achieved nothing?
Why not reflect on your mere existence in this life? Its purpose, your life’s purpose? Not life in general. Why are you here? What’s the point?
Why people are afraid to ask deep questions
People are afraid to ask themselves these questions, because they might unravel that their current existence is pointless.
Moreover, they might already, subconsciously know that, but they try to avoid asking themselves or being asked because it would show them that they do nothing of worth.
I know this sounds cynical, but so is society today. It’s dark, colorless, and pointless for the average meat-grinder-worker-drone (you in your 9-5).
But it doesn’t have to be, when you choose to be bored.
Meditating is the oldest and newest shit.
Meditating really is just being bored. Sitting at home, doing nothing. Literally nothing. But in this nothingness, there is a whole lot of lotness. You finally get to evaluate your thoughts. Your decisions, your life. Yourself.
No need to prance around that you have 1,000 Facebook friends. Nobody gives a shit anyway.
Just you, with yourself.
I laugh when people say they fall asleep while meditating. There is nothing happening when you just chill with your eyes closed? Could be due to a bad, sugary diet. Which is also the reason why you’re tired 24/7. But even then. There are no interesting thoughts popping up?
A straight lie!
Living the wrong boring life online
You just don’t embrace the boredom. You try to force things. Trying to force the mind-blowing next Netflix Blockbuster or bestseller book you could see. Instead of just doing nothing.
And the reason is that you’re conditioned by everyday life to be force-fed validation and communication. You don’t need to communicate all the time. It is questionable anyway, if “communicating” via WhatsApp is really a proper form of communication.
Emojis are not real expressions 💩.
But why is there a constant need to be informed about your friends’ food? Or their newest car, leased with prison-style interest?
Why do you care?
I am not saying you shouldn’t care about your friends, but you don’t care anyway. Do you? You’re just depressed you don’t have that car. Because you only ever see the good side.
You don’t know what other people do or don’t do to get that life they portray on Instagram. So you give them that like with a tap of your finger, engaging their dopamine-circuit, and only making it worse for them.
It is their fix. It is your fix.
To feed the addiction of irrelevant likes. That like is just an algorithm turning your finger tap into a red heart symbol.
The person doesn’t give a shit if you really liked it. They only care about how many people liked it. Not your specific like.
External validation. More likes, more of a person.
How we grew up with unhealthy boredom
You should be totally aware of this if you ever were bored! But you’re not.
You give out endless dopamine rushes each day, in the pursuit of gaining even more of them. If you would ever reflect on your actions, you would know. It is pointless. You gain nothing from it. Quite the contrary, social media makes you feel worse.
But it is how you grew up. I did, too. External validation from Facebook, porn, videogames, whatever. Even sex itself.
We’re always trying to have the best sex ever, in whatever measurements you apply to this. Probably from porn. Because it gives you a sense of validation for your relationship. If your girl gladly takes loads to the face from you, she is a good girl, and you chose wisely. Can’t argue with that, right?
Is that what gives you the validation for yourself? If you managed to score a girl who does all that shit? Does that make you a better person? Is that the validation you need?
No. It is another form of boredom. A bad version of it.
Vanilla sex is just boring over time, right? You try to fight your biology of wanting to fertilize as many females as possible. I get it. But you’re doing it the wrong way. Because you (again) try to fight it when you should embrace it.
It doesn’t matter at how many places you fucked, or what weird positions you tried, at some point it will be the same. Yes, because you keep trying to fight the boredom instead of embracing it.
That does not mean, from now on you only go for missionary. Sexual variety is important, but what works, works for a reason. You don’t need to force variety just cause.
If you were bored with one position, you might, however, become better at it, find ways to enjoy it even more. Man does this as training. You repeat the same thing over and over until you’re better at it.
And when you’re better at it, it is more fun.
Of course, sex isn’t a training field to be the best fucker there is.
My point is, think about boredom differently.
What is healthy and unhealthy boredom?
The mind needs space to develop. Right now, you’re clusterfucked by dopamine-rushes from everywhere. Your mind has no space for new thoughts. I am writing these lines because I set myself up to be bored for an hour today.
In this timeframe I planned nothing. Granted, the old Greeks and the great philosophers didn’t really need to make time for such things. They just had it.
Because life was very different. But man’s mind didn’t change. It still needs room and space to develop new thoughts, iterate on others, and come up with new ideas.
Modern society gave up on being creative. Just observe modern movies. Don’t just watch them. Observe.
The newest trend is just making female versions of existing movies. There is some feminist movement involved in this, but the reality is, that Hollywood just can’t come up with new ideas.
Every Marvel movie is the same, just differently colored. Iron Man 1 and Doctor Strange, for example, are exactly the same movies in a different setting.
A cocky, confident, super-rich genius guy who is also kind of an asshole gets thrown out of his life by accident or kidnapping.
Needs to confront his ego, and build or develop new skills which will ultimately make him the superhero he is. Same fucking movie. Even the beard is similar.
You see constant remakes of old movies, especially prone to the horror genre. I can’t even recall how many versions there are of Friday the 13th. Maybe 13.
If a movie becomes old enough so the current generation hasn’t seen it, it will be remade with the current hype actors, some new CGI effects, and there’s your $300 million box office.
Music is either an old song remade with new house-beats underneath, ruining the glory of the original. Or it is a pop song with the same beat like any other pop-song just slightly different lyrics, sung by somebody who can’t actually sing, but the computer took care of that.
And the root cause of all this is missing boredom.
If you need to bring out a new game, or a new movie each year, and the production takes about a year, when do you really have enough time to think? To be creative?
When do you have time to be bored, and accidentally come up with a new, groundbreaking story?
And that’s why you try to reiterate people who were bored, by ruining their legacy.
Why boredom is good for you?
I am currently reading The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale, a classic. Over 5 million copies sold.
In this book there is a story of a professor who lost his “grit,” his “edge” after years of doing the same.
He tried all the things to become the old professor he once was and his students loved.
Until the board of trustees told the professor to give him a six months leave. Fully paid, etc. He was told to go into a cabin in the woods, chopping wood, fishing, and reading books. Actually the only book he was given was the Bible (because it is a positivity book).
After that time the man was back, fully refreshed, vital, and the old professor full of life energy, loving to teach his students.
Because he was “bored” for 6 months.
Removed all distractions and monotony from the corporate and modern life.
And lived in tune with his nature for a while.
THAT is healthy boredom.
How to be bored properly?
Now, enough of this rant.
How to do it right?
- Decelerate your life
- Go for walks
- Stop with the “background noise”
- Move into the countryside
Let’s be more precise.
Decelerate your life.
The speed of life we live in is unhealthy. But most importantly, it is self-manufactured.
You don’t die if you don’t check your phone every fifteen minutes.
I recommend turning off ALL notifications. Even WhatsApp, and only check your phone maybe 3-5 times a day.
When you work on a computer, don’t check social media every five minutes. I know this is tough because your dopamine receptors are already numbed so that they need it.
On Windows, hit F11 in your browser. This makes the current tab fullscreen. This way there are no distractions at all and you can focus!
I know how it is, my friend. Having 50 tabs open you’re more likely to check another tab when you’re currently stuck or not feel like completing the current task!
External conditioning. Don’t even give your brain the opportunity to sidetrack you.
People have this weird concept of meditation. You don’t need to sit tight in the Lotus position on a mountain in Nepal to meditate properly.
I show you more detail on how to meditate easily in this post here, but let me give you a quick version.
Use stillness and silence.
While the BrainFM app is fantastic to meditate, you don’t really need it.
You can just sit still in a quiet room. Or in your garden.
No, you don’t need your phone to set a timer for 15 minutes. Just sit there. Be quiet, breathe properly, and let the thoughts come.
Meditation is really just NOT forcing anything. OBSERVING your mind and your thoughts. No judgment. Just watching.
If you still work a 9-5, turn off the radio in your car when you’re commuting. Meditate. Not closing the eyes, obviously. Just give your mind space to think.
I did this when I was still commuting. It boosted my creativity and happiness immensely!
Go for walks
Preferably in nature. In a forest, or at a lake.
Go outside! Go for a walk. No music, no phone. Just give your mind space and use the movement to get your body and your metabolism going.
This frees your mind and gives it space to THINK!
Hit the gym
You may have not noticed it consciously, but whenever you are exercising, your mind starts to think a lot, doesn’t it?
The movement of your body, increasing blood- and heart rate are not just very healthy for your body, also for your spirit.
De-rusting your body also helps freeing your mind.
I have the best ideas when I am exercising at the gym.
I do it with music (without lyrics tho, I use the Halo Soundtrack often), but when you can, do it under the sun without music.
This is how the great philosophers of ancient greece trained and this is the natural way for humans.
Stop with the background noise
Are you one of those people who need to have the TV running in the background although you’re not even watching?
Just so there is “some noise?”
You have conditioned yourself to blind your mind with that background noise (it really is just noise).
Maybe you’re afraid to really think. Because it might open your eyes.
Or because you grew up in a noisy environment (cities. I’ll get to that) and you’re just used to it.
Humans are habitual creatures. You can get used to NOT having something blaring in the background all the time. Turn the TV off.
Whatever you do at home doesn’t need music in the background.
Same in the car. I never listen to the radio, and even if I turn on Spotify to listen to some of my tracks, it’s rare.
Move into the countryside
Humans are not designed to live in big cities.
You may be familiar with the Dunbar Number? It states that humans can hold “close” contact to a maximum of 250 people.
In cities, you constantly see people, but you know nobody. Not even close.
This is why people are so distant, despite living so close.
That is one very important point of moving out of big cities.
The other one is the noise (again). I moved into a very remote small village earlier this year. It is pure beauty.
I wake up with the birds singing, and I go to bed with the crickets chirping, and between there is no noise. I live close to nature and it frees the mind.
This relaxes you on a level you cannot achieve in loud cities.
All of this will “bore” your mind. But it is positive boredom, because this space is absolutely needed in modern day society.
- People are afraid to ask themselves deep questions because it would reveal the void in their soul
- Boredom means space for your mind. This space is necessary for creativity
- Stop filling your mind with meaningless notifications
- Meditate wherever. While driving. At the gym. Just don’t consume. Free your mind.
- Go for walks. In nature. In silence. Enjoy your mind.
- Ditch the background noise (music, TV)
- Move into the countryside (if possible) and enjoy nature
Try it for a month (except the last part I guess) and see if it changes anything in your happiness and your creativity.
Report back to me then.
Relax, my friend.
Life doesn’t have to be that fast. You make it that way.