Confidence is the #1 attractant man has towards women.
You don’t need to be rich, you don’t need to be super-handsome. You can even be broke af. But when you’re confident, you can at least get sex from the feminine. This is why this post is long overdue. How to be more confident?!
As a man who was the exact opposite of this growing up (due to no father around, only being raised by women, being bullied, and being an Empath) I know exactly what the dark side of not having any confidence looks like. Now I am on the other side and I want to share a bunch of techniques.
Are we all able to be confident in ourselves?
Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: Yes, because it is your nature.
If you look at small children, they don’t worry AT ALL about what others think of them. If they offend people if they do something they might dislike. Hell, they intentionally test their boundaries.
All this is because we are naturally completely confident in ourselves. Confidence mostly comes from not caring what other people think of you and being completely in tune with who you are and what you want. And that what you want is not “bad” or “not how a man acts.” It’s what you want and that’s that.
If you have children, especially under 2 years, observe them. Quickly you will see confidence in its natural way.
However, due to society and, well, being a decent human, you sometimes need to drop that free spirit. A child that always does whatever the fuck it wants is a spoiled brat and will grow up around adults that dislike it. Not a nice way to grow up.
So you NEED to discipline your child and in this way, kill its confidence a little bit. It’s a balance you need to find between fitting into a shitty society and not killing the spirit of a little human being.
The lesson for the adult in this is simply to re-find your true nature. Who you are deep down. And then, it is about becoming fine with being that person. So let’s dive in.
Hack #1: Win Every Day with Small Goals
Confidence is rebuilt upon the things we did. You did. And do.
Most people these days never actually DO shit. They sit around, watching Netflix, porn, video games. But there is no creation. There is nothing that makes you proud of yourself for accomplishing it.
And no, achievements in video games don’t count. They’re not real.
You need to move from consuming to creating.
But we cannot change the world in a day.
Most people set too big goals for the day and too small goals for their life.
It’s fine to want to become rich. If that is your life goal. But you won’t do this in a day. And because of that you will fail every day.
Set goals you can achieve on a daily basis. Have at least one somewhat small goal that moves you forward towards your desired end-life. And then crush it. This will build confidence on a daily basis.
Hack #2: Shadow Work
Carl Jung came up with the “Shadow” which he defines as the dark side of our personality we suppress. To fit into society or to not offend people. But this is a fallacy, because:
Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.Carl Jung
Reality is that most of our daily decisions are driven by our subconscious mind which solely operates on feelings, impulses, and beliefs we built over time.
If you subconsciously belief that you are a loser, you will find ways to sabotage yourself.
Only through doing the shadow work, you will uncover that bullshit. All that dirt from the past, and through that process it will dissolve.
Shadow Work is actually pretty simple. It’s mostly bringing up memories from the past. The ones you decided to bury in your soul. The embarrassing shit. The rejections, the failures. The abuse. The pain. As long as you don’t bring it to the front of your conscious mind, it is blocking energy, love, peace, and success in your heart. This is proven!
You can do it consciously by trying to think up all the bullshit from the past, or you use a subliminal messaging program, which dives deep into your subconscious mind and does it that way. Obviously, the latter is more powerful. I would recommend starting with Regeneration. But be warned, it’s a tough program. You will FEEL that shit from the past. But this is when it will go away.
Only if all the bullshit is removed, can you be truly confident in your true nature. Your Divine, Primal Self.
Hack #3: Face Rejection
You can read 500 books on how to approach girls or what to say. Until you have actually done it in real life and FELT how this is like, you will fail.
There is no substitute for experience.–Unknown
You NEED to be a fool first. This is how we learn. We are shit at something, we keep pushing. This is how we get better.
My first blog posts took forever to write, were short and not very well written. But I kept pushing. I kept publishing, although nobody cared. Now I pump out a 4,000 word blog post in a few hours no problem. It became second nature.
If you are good at something, this boosts your confidence.
And especially when it’s about girls and approach anxiety, or even being around girls, the only way to overcome that fear is to face it. So go out and approach women. Not even with the end goal to get your dick wet. Just to get over that first resistance. To just get started. This is also how you practice Outcome Independence. Another key trait.
Hack #4: Practice Quick Decision Making
One big thing that makes a man is to make decisions quickly.
You all know the old story when you ask a woman what she wants to have for dinner. It goes back and forth until you’re pissed to wtf she actually wants and “why can women never say what they want.”
It’s not their nature. This is a masculine thing. YOU need to decide.
And sometimes it needs to be quick. Generals in war needed to make decisions that could lose or win the war, kill thousands of men, in seconds.
You’re not in war (I guess) but it helps to be able to make decisions quickly.
- When you’re at a restaurant, choose your meal within 1 minute
- When you pick clothes, choose your outfit within 1 minute
- When you want to initiate sex, go right and do it without thinking about it
- If other people around are not making a decisions, you fucking make it for them
As soon as you hesitate and “think” your mind will come up with all kinds of bullshit.
You need to create a bias towards action. And, yes, sometimes the decisions will be bad and fuck things up. It doesn’t matter, you train your gut feeling this way and you will get better over time.
Hack #5: The Guy in Your Head
This is an idea I got from the book The Untethered Soul, which I also reviewed here:
In it, it is mentioned that we have this voice in our head that is constantly talking, judging, liking, disliking, etc. Constant chatter.
But this is not YOU. You are NOT that voice.
It’s just another dude in your head. You are actually just consciousness observing everything. You’re mute. You give directions by thought. And this guy is your Ego. Being afraid and whatnot.
You cannot silence him so don’t even try. But it helps to understand this. It’s not you. It’s just someone having an opinion on everything.
But you can DECIDE to ignore it. Decide to do things anyway, because you’re just sitting in the back observing what happens.
This builds confidence because you realize you are a cosmic being of immense power controlling this flesh vehicle. There is nothing to fear, nothing to judge. Everything just IS. Including you. Observe life, have fun with it.
Hack #6: The Iron Temple
This is classic bro-advice and very simple.
Go fucking lift weights. It builds a great body which builds your confidence if you look good. It builds confidence because you are strong. It builds confidence because you work on yourself relentlessly.
And if you breach a personal record it feels even better.
Click here to get the BEST gym programs with which I achieved the above easily.
Hack #7: Memento Mori
This is Latin for “Remember Death.”
Simple. If you are afraid of doing something, or feeling insecure and don’t want to do something, remember death.
Every second of the day, you could potentially die. Even just reading these lines. We act like death is far away, but it can strike every damn second.
With that in mind, what is there to fear? What is there to feel insecure about? This life you have is meant to be lived to its fullest. And you don’t do it because you think “I can do it tomorrow.”
But maybe you can’t.
“I will approach the next girl.” Maybe there won’t be a next girl.
Everything you move into tomorrow might actually never happen.
Act today. Right now. Imperfect Action over Perfect Inaction. One of the 33 Rules for Freedom in my book.
Be free, act now. This is your chance to build confidence. NOW.
Tomorrow is where dreams go to die.